


You Make Me Feel Safe

by thaliastxrk



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Depression, First Time, M/M, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Tony Stark Has A Heart, mentions of BDSM
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-15
Updated: 2019-10-15
Packaged: 2020-12-16 20:29:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 36,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21042311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thaliastxrk/pseuds/thaliastxrk
Summary: Set six years after Homecoming.Peter’s now twenty-one, and his life has taken a turn for the worse, struggling with inner demons, a sick Aunt, and his life as Spider-Man left way behind. Peter’s close to giving until a man from his past comes back, and Peter thinks maybe, just maybe, everything could be okay.Note: I do not give consent for this work, or any other of my works, to be posted on another site other than this one.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> now, this is a fic you have probably seen before. I deleted it a while ago, and deleted it again but, I love this fic. I wrote so much of myself into this. I condensed it down as much as I could, I kept the parts I really loved and made it work. I have been editing this bitch like a motherfucker. I’m sorry if there are any mistakes, I’ve really tried to get them all It’s a long fucking read so buckle up. This is just me, now, posting without regrets.
> 
> I took out parts out that I was unhappy with and now it's finally done start to finish. Maybe you haven't read it before, maybe you have, but here you go either way.
> 
> please know this is based on events in my life and how i would have wanted to be taken care of. you can use the time-jumps to make this a slow burn or a quick one, it’s up to you.

Peter’s life had never been easy. Growing up with just his Aunt and Uncle, until it was just him and his aunt. High school was full of taunting and teasing and straight-up bullying. He’d never felt happier in his life. Then becoming a masked almost superhero and Avenger made his life harder when he thought he needed to protect everyone. After turning Tony’s offer of becoming the newest Avenger life got harder. His aunt got sick just after he turned sixteen, and he had no choice but to stop being Spider-Man, and just be plain Peter Parker. He ignored the calls, texts and eventually told Tony to stay away, and not bother him anymore. His last memory of Tony was a sour expression and simple, ‘Have it your way, kid.’ before he got into his car and drove away.

So, after that, he got through life with a painted smile and feigned contentment. Being the small, skinny kid always made him a target, made him stand out, and eventually being forced out of the closet when he was sixteen made his life worse. They made the rest of his high school life worse by that. He made two friends, two other outcasts that were bullied as much as he was, but, once again, no happiness came from their friendship, it felt like a chore more than anything.

College was easier. He got into MIT where he kept himself to himself and never bothered making friends. He just preferred to get through life with no more issues, no more teasing, no more trouble, and hopefully just exist happily. He got on with his professors, and he was easily one of the smartest kids there. He hoped that would make him at least happy. But happiness never came. He worked hard, tries to impress and get praise, trying to find something that would put a real smile on his face, but… nothing. There was always nothing. He didn’t have any form of a normal life. He just existed.

His aunt got worse, her illness knocking her off her feet, and they couldn’t afford the medical bills. He worked and worked and worked because she couldn’t. Eventually having to drop out and go back home. She needed him more than he needed an education. He packed up and moved back to his aunt’s appointment and for a while she was just a little sick. Sometimes needed to go to bed early but could still work and do everything for herself. But, as the months went on, she got worse and worse. The medication was eventually not working, and she ended up bedridden and heartbroken that Peter had to everything.

Peter wished every day for a better life. For someone to come and save him. But no one was heroic. No one showed up. No one cared. No one helped. They were alone, and all Peter had was his aunt and all she had was Peter. They relied on each other. His Aunt relying on him to pay the bills and do what she couldn’t do. Peter relies on his aunt to keep him going and to keep him alive, to give him a reason to carry on. Peter’s nights were spent looking up at the ceiling in his darkroom and praying and praying and praying.

Peter’s time was now spent running errands, shopping, and taking care of his aunt. No time to spend hanging out with his old friends, no matter how many times his only two friends called, texted, and came over to check on him, no time to dumpster dive to find things to build and fix up, no time to just lay in bed and pretend his life was better than what it actually is. His time looking after his Aunt is spent sorting out her medication, helping her to the bathroom and holding her hair back when she’s sick. Running baths and changing bed sheets. Making food and helping her eat. There are only a few hours a day where a lady from a few doors down comes over to look after his Aunt while Peter goes to work or to college. It’s only part-time work at a small restaurant, but they knew the situation and the owner was a lovely woman who paid him way more than she should and left him have any time off he needed, and manages to go to a small college a few days a week.

Peter kissed his aunt goodbye and had a small chat with Mrs. Charles, the woman from a few doors down, and made his way out the door and down the stairs. He had a full hour to kill before his shift started so rather than taking the subway; He decided to just walk and enjoy the cool air and the beaming sun, a wonderful contrast. He smiled to those who waved at him as he walked down the street, but all he could think was that they only spoke to him due to his aunt. No one really cared about him. No one cared about the twenty-two-year-old that dropped out of college, who had a rough life and felt like he had no one other than the one last person in his family who was slowly and surely dying and that he’d lose her too sooner than he should. She was too young to die. He wishes it was himself instead.

Peter had gotten himself to a point in life where he wouldn’t actively take his own life, but if the car came at him too fast he wouldn’t move, if he was falling, he wouldn’t try to help himself stop. He’d happily have any sort of accident that would take him. His head was filled with thoughts that kept him awake at night. The struggles of trying to work to get enough money to keep his home, to pay bills and get medication that helped prolong his Aunt’s life and prayers for a miracle that somehow she gets better and lives a long life. Peter didn’t care about himself, didn’t care one single bit. He wouldn’t want anyone to cry for him once he’s gone, because he’s sure at the moment his life was slipping away, he might actually experience happiness.

Peter walked into the restaurant, early for his shift, and hung up his coat before walking to the back and greeting the owner. They exchange pleasantries and he’s informed that he’s not waiting tonight, he’s behind the bar due to the short staff and needing to even things out. Peter nodded and makes his way to stand behind the bar. There was already a small line formed, all waiting to be served. He spent the next half an hour with a fake smile and pouring drinks and engaging in small talk, but not offering much of a conversation. He finally gets a few moments to sit down and take a breather and pulls out his phone to make sure he’s gotten no missed calls or texts but who was he kidding… He never does. Not once.

Peter watched the clock for the next four hours, the night was slow and he spent more time sitting down and waiting for customers rather than actually serving any. His head filled with the same thoughts as usual, wondering if any would care if he just dropped right there. Just went. Just cried out and screamed, but he’s sure, once again he’d just be completely ignored, that no one would even glance over. Peter just stays sat there, sulking.

Peter finally closed up the bar and helped the cleaning staff tidy up a little before leaving the restaurant and decided to walk home, even though it was colder now, and all he had was a thin hoodie. Peter walked, looking up at the sky, and taking in the light clouds and the stars. Peter soon dropped his head as he turned to walk down an alleyway. He pulled out his phone and called Mrs. Charles to let her know he was on his way home and that as long as she was sleeping and comfortable she could go home and he’ll drop her money off as soon as he’s back.

“Hey, sweetheart, you looking to go home with someone?” A man shouts to him who was stood by a door and Peter just ignored him and kept walking, pocketing his phone and keeping his head down. “Come on, don’t ignore me, beautiful.” He heard footsteps behind him and soon picked up his pace, just wanting to get home as soon as possible and out of the alleyway. He thought he’d finally moved far away enough from the man but, he felt a strong hand on his shoulder that pulled him to the side and pushed him against the brick wall. “I don’t like being ignored.” The man sneered out.

“Please. I just want to go home.” Peter replied, his voice quiet and scared. The man chuckled.

“Come home with me, baby.” The man retorted back.

“No, thank you,” Peter replied, trying to be as polite as possible, not wanting to anger the man and cause anything to happen.

“Well, I’m sorry, but you don’t have a choice.” The man growled out and grabbed Peter by the hips, hauling him over his shoulder. Peter screamed and kicked his legs as hard as he could, eventually leaning down to sink his teeth hard into his arm, making the man hissed and drop him to the floor. Peter scrambled to his feet and tried to run, but the man quickly knocked him back down and sat on his legs, holding him down with his hands, and Peter for some reason couldn’t tap into the strength he used to have and soon realized that there was no stopping him.

His attacker finally pulled himself off Peter and pulled up his jeans before turning and walking off, leaving Peter on the floor with bite marks, bruised skin, and scratches. His pants pooled around his ankles and his hoodie ripped. Peter laid there for a few moments before getting himself together and stood up, pulling his bottoms up and sniffling into the cold silence. Peter just shrugged to himself. His happiness was stolen at a young age… It makes sense that his virginity was stolen too. More things to add to the list of what is wrong with his pathetic life.

Peter walked into his Aunt’s apartment, dripping wet and covered in dirt and the man’s touches still haunting his skin. He locked the door behind him and quickly checked on his aunt before walking to the bathroom and turning on the shower. Peter stripped off his clothes and stepped into the shower, making sure the water was scalding hot, it made his skin redder than it already was, and he felt like he had scrubbed for hours, and eventually broke down, holding back his sobbing, so he didn’t wake up his Aunt.

Peter soon pulled himself out of the shower, wrapping himself up in a large towel and picked up his clothes. He entered his room, shutting the door behind him, and stuffed the clothes in the back of his closet. He dressed in loose shorts and a t-shirt before getting into bed and staring into the darkness of his room. The only light coming in through his window from a street lamp. Peter cried himself to sleep that night, clutching his comforter right and hoping that he doesn’t wake when the morning comes.

Peter woke up slowly the next morning and turned off the alarm that was blaring on his phone. He’d gotten used to the normal times of his Aunt waking up, so he made the choice to just get up at five in the morning every single day. The sun was just starting to rise, the sky dimly lit, and birds tweeting outside his window.

Peter groaned after a sleepless night. He’d made the decision to go to the nearest sexual health center and get tested, he really didn’t need any diseases right now, or ever! His dreams ending up as nightmares and his thoughts running wild making sleep an impossible task. His pillow was still damp from his tears and he feels like he’s dying, but mostly feels disgusting, used and broken.

Peter coaxed himself out of bed and groggily made his way to his Aunt’s room to see if she was still sleeping. Thankfully she was, so Peter used that as an opportunity to shower, the water scolding once again and scrubbing until his skin was red, and feel raw.

After Peter has showered and gotten himself dressed for the day, he cooked his Aunt breakfast and sorted her morning medication, and brought everything through to her on a tray. He watched as she slowly pushed herself up, every movement causing pain to show on her face. Peter put the tray on her lap, and handed her the small mountain of pills and a large glass of water, before sulking out a good morning and making his way back out of her room. Peter grabbed his coat and opened the door to find Mrs. Charles just about to knock on the door.

“I’m sorry I didn’t come over last night to give you the money. I was just on my way to come and give it to you.” Peter told her and pulled out the folded notes from his pocket and held his hand out to her. Thankfully, she just smiled and took the money before stepping into the apartment. “I’m working two extra hours today if that’s okay? I’m actually going to go now and possibly squeeze in another hour.” Peter asked and the elderly woman just nodded. Peter then made his way out of the apartment. He hailed a cab, not wanting to even walk a meter from the door, he didn’t really have the money to cover this at all, but he didn’t feel safe walking anywhere anymore.

He paid and tipped the driver when he pulled up outside the clinic and stepped out of the cab and made his way inside. He didn’t really have the money to even get checked either but had enough aside to cover it. Peter would happily go with just eating a little for a few days while he made sure his Aunt got full meals, possibly take a few days away from college to work more to make the money back. Peter sat in the waiting room, his leg bouncing while waiting to be called through.

The clinic was relatively quick and was told that no news was good news, so Peter had to hope and pray for a week that he didn’t get a phone call. Peter then made his way to work. Once again they were short staffed so Peter was stuck bartending once again. Considering it was only a lunchtime, not many came for a midday drink, so most of the day Peter knew would be spent staring into space, allowing his mind to conjure up thoughts he’d rather not think. Peter served the two ladies who were already waiting, and sat down on a stool in the corner of the bar, playing games on his phone and regularly bringing his head up to check no one was waiting.

Peter tried his hardest to focus on work, keep the thoughts from driving him insane, and eventually it was busy enough for Peter to spend a good hour on his feet before sitting back down. It wasn’t too long before the thoughts came flooding in, the demon on his shoulder whispering that he deserved everything that happened to him, deserved to be sad and that no one would ever want him. Peter sniffled to himself before hearing a little tap on the bar, making him look up and his heart stop.

“Tony,” Peter said quietly and Tony grinned at him.

“Hey, kid. Long-time, no see.”

“What… W-What are you doing here?” Peter asked as he walked over to the bar, gripping the edge of the counter.

“To get a drink, of course. I didn’t expect to see you here. Shouldn’t you be in college?” Tony asked and Peter just shrugged.

“I am,” Peter answered, and Tony huffed a little.

“I mean MIT. I know you got in.” Tony replied, and Peter offered a small smile.

“Had to come home. Shit happened.” Peter answered quickly. “What can I get you?”

“Whisky. Make it a double,” Tony said and Peter nodded before grabbing a glass and turning around to grab a bottle off the shelf. “What happened?”

“Shit,” Peter said, not wanting to carry on the conversation. He didn’t want Tony to know. Didn’t want anyone to know his problems. Peter then turned back around and placed Tony’s drink in front of him.

“Come on, Peter.” Tony coaxed, attempting to get Peter to open up and talk 

“Aunt May is sick. Really sick. I had to come home. Simple as that. I work part-time and I go to college part-time. Well, I go to college whenever I can. Some weeks I just can’t go.” Peter explained, and Tony offered a sad smile.

“What’s wrong with her?” Tony asked.

“What is this? Twenty questions? Mind your own business, Mr. Stark. I don’t have to tell you anything.” Peter snapped, and Tony just sighed.

“I’m just trying to catch up.” Tony protested.

“Well, don’t. Because I’m not interested. I won’t be coming back. I left that shit behind me. I don’t have time for it. I told you that night that I wanted nothing to with it anymore. That includes you.” Peter ranted, hoping to scare Tony away. He didn’t want anyone from his past knowing what he’s going through, how shitty life has gotten.

“Kid, calm down,” Tony said softly, and Peter just shook his head. “Just… tell me what’s wrong with your aunt. I’m not here to get you to come back. I don’t know what’s happened, but I could tell just from seeing you face that you’re not okay. Shit, anyone can look at you and see you’re not okay.”

“Not here. I’ll call you.” Peter offered, and Tony laughed a little.

“No, you won’t,” Tony replied. “Don’t try that on me.”

“Yeah, you’re right. I won’t.” Peter admitted.

“When do you finish? I can pick you up and we’ll talk.” Tony offered.

“I finish at six, but, if you’re driving… You shouldn’t be drinking that.”

“Happy drove me. This will be a way out of my system before I come and pick you up. Plus, we both know it’s gonna take a lot over one small glass to do anything to me.” Tony explained, and Peter nodded because the man was right.

Peter took a moment to look at Tony, and all he could think is that he looked good. Really good. Nothing had changed, perfectly styled hair, same dark brown eyes, same polished suit, and charming smile, and… a wedding ring.

“When did you get married?” Peter asked, nodding towards the ring. Tony then looked down and huffed again, letting out a small laugh.

“Last year,” Tony answered, he just shrugged and sighed and looked back up at Peter.

“You don’t sound too happy about it,” Peter commented and Tony nodded.

“I mean… Yeah, we’re fine. It’s just not… What I thought it would be.” Tony replied, and Peter almost missed the slight sadness to his tone.

“Why not?” Peter asked.

“What is this? Twenty questions?” Tony smirked, and Peter laughed a little. “We’ll talk about it later. As long as you tell me what’s going on with you.”

“Yeah. Alright?” Peter said and watched as Tony picked up the glass and downed the contents in one go and placed the glass back down.

“I’ll see you at six,” Tony said while standing up and Peter just nodded and offered a small smile and watched as Tony left the restaurant. Peter just sighed to himself and served a man that came up to the bar just after Tony left and soon was sat in the corner and wondering what the hell Tony Stark was doing in Queens.

»»————- ♡ ————-«« 

The rest of the day went rather quickly. The restaurant started to pick up after four o’clock, Peter finally spending more time serving and offering small talk than sitting down in a corner too immersed in his own thoughts and demons. Over the next hour, Peter kept glancing at the clock, finding himself somewhat excited to see Tony. The gorgeous older man from his past who was dressed in expensive suits, hair perfectly styled, and a smile that made Peter feel a little weak inside. Peter felt small twinges of happiness whenever he thought of him, remembering the laughs and the times Tony helped him back when he was Spider-Man, when life was simpler and Peter had the time to be a normal teenager, but the thoughts were always quickly ruined by the devil on his shoulder. 

Peter smiled as Tony walked through the door a little before five and sat himself down at the bar. Peter felt his chest get a little tight and he couldn’t get rid of the little smile on his face as he walked over to the other man. “I’ve still got a little time before I finish, you okay waiting?” Peter asked him.

“Happy to wait, Peter,” Tony replied simply, a smile on his face. Peter nodded and moved back to serving the two men at the bar, but his attention was entirely on Tony. He was trying hard to push all the horrible and gut-wrenching thoughts out of his head, promising himself that Tony wouldn’t hurt him and that what happened last night would never happen to him again, that needs to forget and move on. That worse things happen to people, and what happened to himself was nothing, and he needs to man up.

Peter was finally grabbing his hoodie from the back and saying goodbye to the owner before walking over to Tony, who was looking down at his phone. Peter tapped him on the shoulder, and the older man looked up and grinned. “You ready?” Tony asked, and Peter just nodded. “Great. Let’s go.” Tony said and stood up. Tony placed a hand on the middle of his back and guided him out of the restaurant and towards the car. Tony opened the car door for Peter, and Peter slipped inside and smiled up at him.

Peter watched as Tony closed the door and made his way to the driver’s side and got into the car. Peter gave Tony his address and Tony laughed and told him that he already knew, and they did remember things. Tony then revved the engine before pulling off and heading towards Peter’s home. “What’s wrong with your Aunt?” Tony finally asked, and Peter just sighed.

“Doctors aren’t entirely sure. It could be cancer. We don’t know. We couldn’t afford any more tests or the biopsy to check thoroughly. Blood showed cancerous cells but nothing concrete. Medical bills were already piling up. Aunt May wanted to take her chances.” Peter explained and Tony hummed

“She really needs more tests, Peter,” Tony commented.

“I know that! But we can’t afford it. You really think I’d sit here and let her suffer if I had the money to solve this?” Peter snapped, and Tony glanced over at him.

“I didn’t mean it like that. Calm down.” Tony replied.

“I’m sorry,” Peter said quietly. “It angers me. That I can’t do more. I wish it was me. Not her. She doesn’t deserve this.”

“I felt the same when my mom died. I mean, I didn’t give a shit about my dad; he was an ass. Cold Showed me no affection, but my mom… She was the greatest woman to walk the earth. She didn’t deserve it.” Tony replied and Peter looked over at him.

“I’m sorry,” Peter said, he knew a little about Tony’s past, but never actually heard Tony talk about it, and Tony just shrugged.

“Shit happens,” Tony replied simply.

“I never knew my parents. Not really. They died when I was really young. The only memory I have is my mother singing to me.” Peter told him and Tony reached a hand over to his thigh and offered a gentle squeeze.

“I’m sorry, kid,” Tony asked. “You’ve never actually told me about you past.”

“I figured you’d just know… since you knew I was Spider-Man,” Peter replied and Tony shook his head.

“I don’t know everything. As much as I like to tell myself that I do.” Tony joked, but Peter didn’t laugh. “Tell me about it. Tell me about you. Like, stuff I don’t know.”

“Y-Yeah. Sure,” Peter said while turning his head to look out the window. “My uncle passed away when I was twelve. Got shot. Never caught the guy.” Peter explained and Tony sighed.

“I’m sorry, Peter.’’ 

“Why? You didn’t do it.” Peter said, his tone sharp. He didn’t need anyone’s pity. He’s already grieved, already gone through it.

“What’s happened since I left? Since we stopped speaking…” Tony asked, and Peter sighed again.

“A lot. But I’ve told you the important stuff.” Peter said.

“I mean, you were fine when I first met you. Happy.” Tony replied, and Peter laughed, but there was nothing funny.

“I’ve never been happy, Tony. Just because I smiled didn’t mean I was happy.” Peter admitted, and Tony shook his head. 

“You had a good life.” Tony basically insisted, because he generally thought that Peter did. 

“No, Tony. No, I fucking didn’t.” Peter snapped and looked over at Tony. “My whole life I’ve been bullied, and teased and picked out of the crowd, beat up and called out. Stuffed into lockers and humiliated. I’ve got one family member left, and she’s about to leave me too.” Peter told him. “Just after I turned sixteen, this guy told me he liked me. I spent three months thinking someone was actually interested in me. Then, one day, he asked me to meet him in an empty classroom, said we needed to talk. So, I did. He got me to admit that I liked him and that I wanted to be with him, and then seven guys jump out and beat the shit out of me. I couldn’t do anything because I froze. They beat the living shit out of me, and I was outed and life got worse.”

“I didn’t know,” Tony offered. “I’m sorry, Peter.”

“So, you’re right. You don’t know anything.” Peter snapped and Tony just nodded while he pulled up outside Peter’s apartment. “Thank you for the lift,” Peter said, a small snip to his tone.

“Who’s looking after your Aunt while you work?” Tony asked, ignoring Peter’s comment and reaches out a hand to place on his arm, stopping him from getting out the car, and Peter sighs.

“Old lady from a few doors down. Gotta pay her extra because I had more hours at work. Probably have to wait now to get food in. There’s enough for my aunt so, that’s all that matters.” Peter explained. “You know… You said that you’d tell me what’s going on with you.”

Tony smiled and took his hand away and nodded. “Yeah. I did.”

“What’s going on with your marriage?” Peter asked, looking directly at Tony, and the older man ran a hand through his hair.

“A lot. Pepper and I keep trying to fix something that might not be fixable. We borderline hate each other. We live separately, we haven’t slept in the same bed for months, and I’m pretty sure she’s sleeping with my best friend.” Tony explained sadly and Peter just nodded.

“I’m sorry,” Peter said, and Tony just offered a small smile.

“It’s fine. I mean… I’ll keep trying as long as she does.” Tony replied. There was a small pause before Tony reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet, pulled out some dollar bills, and folded them in his hand. “Thousand get you through for a little while?” Tony said and looked over at Peter, whose mouth was hanging open a bit. “Well?”

“I-I… Jesus fucking Christ, Tony! You can’t just give me money.” Peter exclaimed. 

“Take the money, Peter. It’s not gonna break me. Multi-Billionaire and all that.” Tony said and Peter shook his head.

“That’s your money regardless of how much you have. I’m not taking it.” Peter replied. “You can’t just drive me home for work, after years of not seeing each other and offer me fucking money. I’m not taking it.”

“Yes. Yes, you are.” Tony held the money out closer to Peter and Peter sighed.

“Tony, please. I’ll be okay. You carry that kinda money around?” Peter asked, and Tony shrugged.

“That’s all that was in my wallet. Take it.” Tony answered and thrust the money out to Peter. “Please.” Peter sighed and slowly took the money, looking it over and turning his head to look out the window. “Don’t even think of saying that you’ll pay me back. I don’t want it back.” Peter sighed and laughed a little.

“Why are you being nice to me? I was horrible to you. I’ve been horrible tonight.” Peter asked and looked back over at Tony.

“Because I know you’re in pain. I can tell you cry yourself to sleep, but still, don’t sleep much at all. Your life has been rough, and you need a break. You need someone to listen to you and to help you. I’m willing to be a friend and help you any way you need.” Tony explained and Peter couldn’t hold back the tears that started the fall. “That’s if you want me around. I mean… You don’t have to. Kinda missed having you around.” Tony admitted.

“Thank you. I don’t know what to say.” Peter basically sobbed out. “Just… Thank you.”

“Give me your phone, and I’ll give you my number. Unless you still have it.” Tony said and Peter sniffled as he took his phone out and handed it over to Tony. Tony added his number into Peter’s phone and passed it back over. “Make sure you text or call me if you need anything.”

“Thank you, Tony.” Peter sniffled, but had no intention of ever speaking to Tony again, had no intention of actually taking the money, and Tony smiled. “I better go.”

“Alright. Thank you for letting me drive you home.” Tony said and Peter just smiled and opened the door, sliding the folded money into the door’s side panel.

“Thank you for the money. I don’t know what else to say. I’m a little overwhelmed.” Peter said and got out of the car.

“Well, you can’t use the money unless you take it,” Tony smirked and Peter dropped his head and grabbed the money.

“I hate you,” Peter said before he closed the door behind him. Peter watched as Tony waved and drove off, Peter stood outside for a moment, clutching the money and his phone in his hand, and starred off in the direction that Tony drove, and sighed, and wondered if the feeling in his stomach was happiness. Peter just shrugged to himself and made his way up to the apartment. Peter opened the door and paid Mrs. Charles and thanked her as she left. Peter walked to his Aunt’s bedroom and sat on the bed by her feet. “How was work?” His Aunt croaked out, and Peter just sighed before explaining everything that happened, leaving out the fact Tony gave him money.

“You hungry?” Peter asked and his Aunt nodded.

“Alright. I’ll go to the store. Unless you want takeout.” Peter said and his Aunt offered a small grin.

“Takeout sounds wonderful. Can we afford it?” His Aunt asked.

“Yeah. I did extra hours today. Don’t worry.” Peter said, still not wanting to tell her about the folded bills in his back pocket. “I’ll call and order. Get it delivered.” Peter then stood up and walked out the room, and sat on the couch, and quickly ordered pizza for him and his Aunt. Just as he ended the call, his phone lit up with another call.

“Hey, Tony,” Peter said as he answered.

“Hey, kid. You working tomorrow?” Tony asked.

“Work most days,” Peter told him, sitting back against the couch. “Yeah, I’m working tomorrow.”

“Bring those medical bills. I’ll come and get them.” Tony said. “Oh, and don’t say no, or say you will and not bring them. I will come there and get them.” Tony quickly threw out and Peter laughed. “Text me when you’re almost done with work,” Tony added before hanging up and Peter laughed before quickly calling him back 

“You’re so weird.” Peter laughed out when Tony picked up.

“Made you laugh.” Tony pointed out and Peter just smiled a little bit. “Have a good night, Peter.”

“I finish at ten tomorrow, I’ve got college in the morning,” Peter explained. “Have a good night, Tony.”

“Goodnight, Peter.”

Peter spent the night curled up next to his Aunt, talking and eating until his Aunt fell asleep. Peter then cleared up the empty pizza boxes and then went to his room. Peter laid himself down on the bed, and stared up at the ceiling. He still couldn’t understand why Tony wanted to help him so much. Why after all this time someone was being so kind and thoughtful towards him. He was sure this was all going to end badly… That it’s just pity and that Tony wouldn’t even turn up tomorrow. Tony would just forget about him and move on. Peter just wanted this feeling to last, wanted the happiness to stay.

»»————- ♡ ————-«« 

Peter spent most of his night awake, the full two hours of sleep plagued by nightmares and images that woke him with tears streaming down his face and scream threatening to leave his body, and his skin feeling burned and disgusting. Peter scrubbed under scalding water once again, rubbing until his skin was raw and hurt. He made his way to work in the back of a cab once again, medical bills in his pocket and the other full of Tony’s cash. Peter paid the driver and headed into the restaurant, where Tony was already waiting at the bar. Peter went into the back to find out he was bartending permanently, which he saw coming anyway, plus he earned more tips that way.

Peter patted Tony shoulder as he walked around to the other side of the bar, and poured Tony a drink without the man even asking, and passed the glass over. Peter studied him, perfect beard, hair neatly pushed back, beautiful warm brown eyes that made his heart stop. Sleek navy suit, and a mesmerizing smile. Peter definitely had a good feeling about this. About Tony being back in his life. Peter watched as he took a sip from his drink, and placed the glass on the table. Long fingers lingering on the glass, and a strong hand that Peter just wanted to hold on too tightly, a gold watch hugging his wrist. “You’re staring.” Tony laughed lightly with a grin.

“I’m admiring.” Peter resorted with a smile of his own.

“You bring those bills?” Tony asked and Peter nodded, reaching into his back pocket and places a small stack of envelopes onto the bar in front of Tony. Tony offered a smile and placed the envelopes in his inside jacket pocket. “These will all be paid by the end of the day.”

“Thank you,” Peter replied. “Thank you so much.”

“I’ll walk you home tonight. I wanna talk more.” Tony said and Peter just nodded, excited to spend some time with the older man. “I’ll let you get back to work. What time do you finish?”

“Ten,” Peter answered and Tony nodded before finishing his drink. Tony then stood up, and leaned over the bar to press a quick kiss to Peter’s cheek. Peter felt the warm blush spread over his cheeks, and Tony winked before turning and leaving the restaurant. Peter definitely had a good feeling about Tony. There was no denying how his heartbeat would speed up whenever he looked over at Tony, how his palms got a little sweaty, how the smiles and laughter were genuine, and how excited he woke up this morning because he was going to see him.

»»————- ♡ ————-««

Peter quickly immersed himself in work. Getting through the hours with smiles, and small talk. It was busier than usual, but it was Friday night and their drinks were relatively cheap. Most people that came through the door were here for a drink, and not for the restaurant. Peter had asked multiple times why the owner hadn’t just opened a bar, but she was adamant that it would take off soon, and business would be booming. Peter didn’t get the chance to keep stealing glances at the clock as by the time he’d served one customer he was on to the next, and his time at work went quickly and soon enough it was ten o’clock, and Tony sauntered into the restaurant, a few people glancing and pointing and few women grinned and sat up straighter with hope that they’ll be noticed.

“You know, I’ve only just noticed how people react when you enter a room.” Peter laughed at Tony as he slipped on his hoodie and walked to stand in front of Tony.

“Yeah, I know. Come on, kid.” Tony grinned and Peter let himself be guided by Tony’s hand on his back. Peter stepped through the door that Tony held open, and walked with the older man hand on his back, looking up at him and smiling. “What was MIT like for you?”

“A lot better than high school. A whole lot better.” Peter started and laughed a little. “But anything is better than being teased and bullied throughout the whole thing. Forced out the closet, which ensured more bullying, as you know. I was stuffed in lockers, clothes stolen after gym class, food thrown at me, beat up… All the good stuff. But, I’ve already told you that.” Peter explained, and Tony just nodded. “I mean, I know I’ve had it easier than most people, I shouldn’t sit and cry about it, you know. So, I didn’t. I just used all my time learning and teaching myself things. Got me smart enough to go to MIT.” Peter laughed again. “I’m rambling, lemme go back to what you originally asked me.”

“It’s okay. You go ahead and talk, get it all out.” Tony insisted.

“Professors liked me. I got on okay. I didn’t really make any friends. Except for like, one guy I spoke to more than once, he was nice, but… I just didn’t wanna have friendships. Didn’t want anyone really.”

“Why not?” Tony asked.

“People always hurt me,” Peter answered.

“People are asshole, How are you feeling today?”

“In general… Or like, just my emotions today? Because honestly, I don’t know.” Peter replied.

“How do you normally feel?” Tony asked.

“I’m just at a point where I could die tomorrow and I think that’s when I’ll finally be happy. Once my Aunt has gone there’s nothing for me anymore. My time will come when hers does.” Peter tells him without thinking and soon wished that he never did. He wonders why the hell he just told Tony all that. There was something about him that made Peter feel safe, like he wouldn’t be judged.

“I want you to live. I’d like you to be alive tomorrow.” Tony said. “I know you’ve had a rough life so far… But, it doesn’t mean that the rest of your life will be like that.”

“I mean, I hope so. The best part of my life was my time as Spider-Man. I was so fucking pumped when I walked into my Aunt’s apartment and you were sitting there. I literally thought that my heart was gonna fall out my ass.” Peter laughed and Tony burst out laughing.

“You were good. I couldn’t believe a kid like you existed. I was pretty shocked that day you said no to becoming the newest Avenger.” Tony explained.

“I didn’t wanna commit to anything like that. I already had a feeling at that point that something was going on with my Aunt.” Peter told him, dropping his head down to look at the pavement as they walked. “When I knew for sure… I just started to patrol less. Stopped because I went to college and when I came back there was no time. It’s not for me anymore.”

“I understand that.” Tony nodded. “But, if you ever did wanna come back… You’re always welcome.”

“Thank you, Tony,” Peter replied and lifted his head up to offer a smile to him.

“And life will get better,” Tony promised.

“I hope so,” Peter said. He walked with Tony in silence for a few minutes before the alleyway came into view and Tony was about to turn off to walk down it. Peter grabbed ahold of his arm and pulled him a little. “This way,” Peter said, motioning them to carry on walking forward rather than turning off.

“You’re street is literally right there. Why walk around?” Tony laughed out lightly.

“I just wanna walk the long way,” Peter said quickly.

“It’s quicker this way. Come on.” Tony said and shrugged Peter off and began to walk. Peter stayed frozen in place. Tony soon turned around to find Peter hadn’t moved. “Kid, come on.”

“I don’t wanna walk down there, Tony!” Peter snapped. Tony then walked back over to Peter and looked down at him, concern written all over his face.

“Okay, what’s going on?” Tony asked.

“Nothing! I just don’t want to walk down there!” Peter said again, his tone louder than he thought it would be.

“Tell me. There’s something going on with you. What happened?” Tony replies.

“I don’t. Wanna. Walk. Down. There.” Peter said slowly and Tony shook his head.

“Peter. Tell me. What happened?” Tony repeats.

“I’ll tell you while we walk the long way… Okay?” Peter agrees but, actually has no intention of telling him. Tony sighed and nodded, motioning for Peter to carry on walking. Peter started to walk, with Tony walking next to him, the air between them feeling tense and an overwhelming feeling of sadness and concern.

“Tell me,” Tony said after a short while.

“I was assaulted, but it’s not a big deal,” Peter said simply and Tony stopped dead, and Peter just turned around. “I’m fine. Keep walking.”

“When?” Tony asked, not walking another inch.

“The night before you came into the restaurant. Walked down that alleyway and it just happened. It’s fine. I’m fine. Just didn’t wanna walk down there.” Peter explained, trying to hold back tears and come across that he doesn’t have a care in the world. Because he feels that he shouldn’t, worse things happen to people.

“Why didn’t you say anything? Why haven’t you gone to the police? Jesus, Peter!” Tony half-shouted, and ran a hand over his face. “Let me call Happy, we’re going to the police.”

“Tony, no! I don’t know who it was! I don’t care. I’m fine!” Peter resorted, keeping his tone quieter than Tony’s.

“You’re not fine! You can’t be fine!” Tony replied.

“Why are you so bothered? It happened to me. Not you. I told you that I’m fine. Why do you care so much?” Peter asked.

“I don’t know! I just do.” Tony said, stepping closer to Peter. “I can’t believe someone hurt you like that,” Tony whispered to him.

“It’s fine,” Peter repeated. “I mean, I’m bottling a lot of shit up, and I’m pretty sure one day I’m going to go crazy, and shave my hair, and piss on trees. But, for now… I’m fine.” Peter laughed out, but Tony didn’t laugh or smile back. His expression was textbook sadness and Peter’s laughter stopped.

Tony then reached out and pulled Peter into him, and wrapped his arms around him tight. Peter instantly just sobbed, gasping and gripping Tony. Peter kept his face hidden in Tony’s chest while Tony rubbed his back and quietly told him to let it all out. So, Peter did. Right there on the sidewalk, with the cold air making him shake more, and Peter was expecting Tony to just let him go as his cries got harder, and it was getting more difficult to catch his breath, but he didn’t. Tony kept him close and kept his arms locked tight around him.

Peter eventually stepped back, and Tony’s arm loosened, but still kept his arms around him. Peter looked up and sniffled. “I really needed that,” Peter said quietly and Tony hummed in agreement. “I got your shirt all wet. I’m so sorry.” Peter sniffled, and Tony laughed lightly. “What?” Peter asked, and Tony smiled and shook his head.

“You was assaulted three days ago, and you’re sorry for getting my shirt wet. Where on Earth did I find you? You’re too innocent and sweet for this world. You don’t deserve any of this shit.” Tony explained and Peter felt the tears welling back up.

“I feel like you never left. Like I never sent you away.” Peter admits quietly. “Where have you been? Why didn’t you come back?” Peter whispered.

“You told me to go, Peter. I didn’t want you thought you wanted. I know now that you was just hurting and I’m sorry for walking away.” Tony admitted, before bringing up a hand to run through Peter’s hair, before dropping the hand on to his shoulder. “I’m here now,” Tony replied and Peter just nodded. “Come on, let’s get you home.”

Peter walked closely next to Tony who was keeping an arm wrapped around his waist. Peter felt a small weight come off his shoulder, and slight relief at the thought of Tony actually being interested and genuinely wanting to help him. Peter hoped that Tony was there to stay. He thought he’d never find anyone to save him, but Tony was heroic and stepped into his life at the right time and all Peter wanted was to learn more about him and spend as much time as he could with the older man. “I’m sorry about that.”

“Sorry about what? There’s nothing to be sorry for.” Tony said. “You’re the victim. You can cry.”

“I guess so,” Peter told him and Tony smiled sadly.

“Looks like now I’ve got to take care of you,” Tony said. “And before you say anything, I want to take care of you. Like I said before, I don’t know why. I just want too. If you’ll let me.”

“I want you to,” Peter replied, and looked up at him, meeting his eyes.

“Good,” Tony said and they finished their walk in silence. Tony pressing a soft kiss to Peter’s forehead before a black car pulled up and Tony got in, and drove off in the same direction he did the night before. Peter just stood and watched in the direction again, desperately wanting the man to come back. Maybe he could be saved. Maybe happiness might happen after all. Peter made his way up to the apartment, and went through his usual routine of paying Mrs. Charles and checking on his Aunt before he made his way to his own room, and for the first time in a long while, he finally slept a full night, the thoughts of Tony helping keep the nightmares away.

»»————- ♡ ————-«« 

Peter woke the next morning to a text from Tony asking him to call him as soon as he was awake. Peter quickly dialed his number and after a few moments, Tony answered.

“I’m sending over a doctor to assess your Aunt. See if she’ll benefit from inpatient care. That way she can have all the tests she needs and finally find out what’s wrong and help her get better.” Tony said as soon as he answered and Peter broke down, crying and sniffling.

“Thank you so much. You have no idea how appreciative I am of everything you’ve done.” Peter sobbed.

“Hey, come on, now. He’ll be there at half eleven. Call me once he’s gone, and let me know everything. Are you working- Never mind. I guess you will be. What time? I’ll pick you up after your shift.”

“I finish at four usually, but I’ll have to call and move my shift so, it’ll probably be more like six. I’ll let you know.” Peter sniffled and held back a sob. He straight up couldn’t believe what Tony had done for him, for his Aunt.

“Alright, dear. Talk later.” Tony said simply.

“Bye, Tony,” Peter said and hung up the phone, and bent his legs up to his chest, and for once, the tears were from pure happiness and appreciation.

Peter made his way to his Aunt’s room, and woke her up gently, and passed her a glass of water as he explained everything that had happened with Tony. About how he wanted to help him, and help his Aunt get better and his Aunt was just as thankful and overwhelmed as he was. Soon enough there was a knock at the door and Peter walked to open it to reveal Bruce, of all people, standing on the other side. “Hi, Tony Stark sent- Peter?” Bruce asked and Peter smiled a little. He’d only met Bruce once, just after he found his way back home along with Thor.

“Hi, Bruce. I didn’t think you were like… A medical doctor.” Peter commented and Bruce laughed a little.

“I’m not… I mean I am… But, only slightly. I’m qualified enough to see how your Aunt is doing.”

“Okay,” Peter replied. “Come in. Thank you so much for doing this.” Peter said as he stepped back to let the man walk into the apartment.

“He explained everything that’s happening with your Aunt, and I’m gonna try and do what’s best for her,” Bruce explained and Peter just nodded and showed him to his Aunt’s room, and closed the door after the doctor walked into the room, and sat down on the couch, his leg bouncing as he waited.

About half an hour the bedroom door opened and his Aunt sounded pleased and Bruce smiled as he said goodbye. Bruce made his way over to Peter and Peter stood up, and smiled. “She’ll definitely benefit from inpatient care. I’ll set things up and get her admitted straight away. She said she can walk enough with help to get down to an ambulance.”

“Okay… How much is this all gonna cost? Because I don’t ear-“

“Tony will take care of everything. He told me to tell you that. And to tell you that you don’t have to worry.” Bruce said, cutting Peter off.

“T-Thank you.” Peter sniffed, biting back tears and just smiled at Bruce who nodded and made his way out of the apartment. Peter then called Tony and explained everything.

“She’ll be admitted later on tonight. I’ve got it down for around eight, so that way you can work and still go back and help her sort her things and ride with her to the hospital if you want too.”

“That sounds good. Thank you so much, Tony. I just still don’t understand why you’re doing this for us.” Peter sniffled.

“Because I care,” Tony said and they exchanged goodbyes before Peter hung up the phone, and thought that maybe he’s finally found someone to save him.

»»————- ♡ ————-«« 

Peter tried to spend the next few weeks acting as if everything was normal. Peter would get driven to work by Tony, Tony would take him to the hospital, stay with peter until he fell asleep, he became such a close friend. Right now was Peter anxiously worked for five hours, offering his usual smiles and small talk to any customers, pouring drinks and watching the clock. Tony, right on time, as usual, walked through the doors as Peter was slipping on his hoodie, and they left together, Tony’s hand on his lower back and Peter adoring the touch.

Tony drove him home, and said that he’ll meet him at the hospital to drive him home, the usual routine and Peter spent the next two hours packing and talking to his Aunt, who was excited to finally find out what was going on. Peter was over the moon at the chance of his Aunt finally being able to get better and live longer, have a better life, and for her to finally be back to her normal self. There was a slight struggle to get his Aunt of the apartment but, finally they were on their way to the hospital.

Tony was waiting there when Peter and his Aunt arrived, and offered Peter a small hug, and kissed his Aunt’s hand as she thanked him. His Aunt was placed in a large room, as soon enough a Doctor was there assessing and telling her all about her care plan and all the different tests they plan to run. After his Aunt was comfortable and settled, Peter kissed her goodbye and left with Tony. They drove back to Peter’s apartment in silence, but it was a comfortable silence. Peter felt safe with Tony just close by, felt like the man would protect him and care for him.

Tony insisted on coming up to the apartment with Peter and staying with him for a little while. Peter eventually gave him and allowed Tony to follow him up. They end up sat together on the couch after Peter had made Tony a cup of coffee. “Thank you so much for all of this,” Peter said and Tony smiled.

“It’s fine. I just wanna help.” Tony replied.

“Is there anything I can do in return for all of this?” Peter asked and Tony leaned forward to place his cup on the small table in front of them before he sat back against the couch and looked over at Peter.

‘’I think you need a night to relax. How do dinner, plenty of wine and a movie don’t even like?’’

Peter felt himself instantly reflate, nodded with tear-filled eyes. ‘’Please.’’

“I can pick you up around 7.” Tony offered.

“Tony… I can’t even begin to explain how much this means to me.” Peter replied and Tony laughed lightly.

“Save it for dinner,” Tony insisted and Peter just smiled. “Do you want me to stay tonight? Or you can come back to my place with me… If you don’t wanna be alone, I mean.”

“I’ll be fine,” Peter said. “Thank you, though.” Tony just nodded.

“I better go. Call me when you wake up tomorrow.” Tony then stood up and Peter stood up also.

“I will. Thank you again for all this.” Peter said and put his hand into his pockets. Tony then smiled and stepped closer, and pulled Peter into a small hug. Peter pulled his hands back out his pockets and wrapped his arms around Tony’s waist. 

Tony pulled away after a few moments and offered a small smile before leaving the apartment, leaving Peter standing alone.

Peter once again had a sleepless night and woke to feel the strangers hands all over him, holding him down, pushing into him, and Peter couldn’t help but cry out when he woke up, pulling his legs up to his chest and sobbing hard. Peter eventually pulled himself out of bed and glanced at the clock to find it was nearly eight in the morning. Peter ate alone, showered and killed time cleaning the apartment and checking in on his aunt. He sure Tony wasn’t going to even answer when he made the choice to pick up his phone and dial his number. Tony answered after a few moments. 

‘’Hey, you said to call you.’’

‘’How did you sleep?’’ Tony asked straight away and Peter couldn’t help but smile.

‘’Fine,’’ Peter lied.

‘’You’re a terrible liar.’’ Tony commented, before following it up with; “I’ll be there soon.” Tony then hung up the phone. Peter stuffed his phone into the pocket, and grabbed a jacket, and sat on the couch and wait for Tony. His mind then started doing what it welled, filling Peter with dread and overwhelming fear that Tony soon would get bored with him and he won’t see the man ever again, that his aunt would have to come home and she’ll get worse and worse as the days go on. Peter started to pace around the room, running a hand through his hair. Peter wanted to call Tony and call this all off before he could get hurt, wanted to push the older man away before Tony had the chance to hurt him.

The two raps at the door pulled Peter from his thoughts. Peter walked over and opened the door to find Tony stood on the other side, with that same breathtaking grin, and dark eyes that made Peter’s insides melt. Peter stood there for a moment until Tony motioned for him to follow him. Peter grabbed his eyes, and locked the door behind him and followed Tony down to the car, and got in. “I’m thinking movie night at my place instead of dinner,” Tony said as he pulled off away from the apartment.

“I know I keep saying it, but thank you for all this,” Peter said, and Tony laughed a little.

“You need not keep thanking me,” Tony replied and Peter smiled a little while he looked over at him.

“So, what is it you do now?” Peter asked.

“I’m running my own company again, and Avenger stuff. Missions and what not. We have StarkTech now, separate to Stark Industries, which Pepper runs still. We make like, laptops, phones, all that kinda stuff. Stark Industries focuses just on robotics and focuses on providing clean energy.” Tony explained.

“I don’t get why you carry on with the marriage if you’re so unhappy. Why do you continue with it?” Peter asked, and Tony laughed a little.

“I don’t know. We are working, kinda, and we decided it would benefit us both to separate. We get on better when we’re apart. So, I have a distant marriage, I guess.” Tony told him.

“What’s Pepper like? I never got to meet her,’’ Peter asked.

“Amazing. An amazing woman. She’s everything. Keeps me stable. Had a major problem with parties and running wild. She helped me grow up, I guess. We love each other, but I didn’t grow up enough, I guess. I don’t really want too. What we have is good, but I guess good isn’t enough.”

“Wow. I’m sorry. I’ll stop asking questions.” Peter laughed lightly and Tony glanced over at him and offered a small smile.

“You ask whatever you want. That’s how people get to know each other. The only thing we used to talk about was missions and science, and your suit. We never had a proper conversation.” Tony replied.

“Yeah… I guess you’re right.’’ Peter said. ‘’Why do you think she’s sleeping with someone else?’’

“Caught her. Kinda. They were about to do something. If you get what I mean. I just let it go.” Tony breathed. Peter just nodded in response and looked out the window as they drove.

“I’ve never been in a relationship,” Peter admitted.

“I don’t believe that. No way.” Tony laughed.

“I’m serious.” Peter insisted.

“How? I mean… You’re insanely gorgeous, you’re smart, mature, got the biggest heart.”

“Never been interested in having one. Hate people. Always think they’re gonna hurt me. So, I never bothered.” Peter explained and Tony nodded. “Wait… You think I’m gorgeous?”

Tony just smirked and ignored his question. “Anyone who gets to be with you is lucky,” Tony replied. “And anyone who’s hurt you, or wants to hurt you needs to be shot.”

“Jesus Christ!” Peter exclaimed, and Tony laughed.

“Hey, I don’t care. It’s the truth.” Tony said and Peter just smiled and shook his head. Peter just thought maybe all he deserved was hurt, and never deserved to be loved or cared for.

They drove the rest of the way in silence, Peter looking out the window; Tony keeping his eyes on Peter, wanting to make sure he was all right. Peter’s leg bounced up and down, nervous to go to Tony’s house for the first time. He’d never once even got an invitation to go over back when he was a teenager. The most he saw of Tony was the odd night patrolling when he helped Peter, wanted to monitor him. Peter couldn’t help the old feelings coming back, the admiration, and borderline infatuation. Peter was sure back when he was fifteen that he was in love with Tony, he knows better now, knows he wasn’t. He’s glad he told Tony to leave when he did before he could do anything stupid and fuck it up in an entirely different way.

‘’You okay?’’ Tony asked, pulling Peter from his thoughts. Peter just glanced over and nodded. ‘’Your leg says different.’’ Tony points out, and Peter’s leg stills. Peter shrugs quietly, bringing up a hand to bite at his nails. Tony soon pulls Peter’s hand away from his mouth.

‘’That’s a bad habit,’’ Tony explained as he pulled his down the lip down from his teeth, and Peter once again just nodded. Tony sighed, ‘’Seriously? You opened up to me in there. I’m proud of you. Don’t go silent on me now, kid.’’

‘’I’m sorry.’’ Peter apologized. ‘’I just… Kinda regret telling you all that. It’s not your shit to deal with. Not your job to take care of me.’’

‘’Regretting coming home with me?’’ Tony asked, and Peter took a moment before shaking his head. ‘’Good. We’ve got more talking to do.’’

‘’Why?’’ Peter asked, and Tony smiled.

‘’Because I intend to help you,’’ Tony replied. ‘’I promised, and I keep my promises.’’

‘’Okay,’’ Peter responded, wanting to believe Tony with everything he had but, as usual, the devil on his shoulder wouldn’t let that happen. Whispering that Tony was gonna leave, he was just gonna pull over and leave Peter in the middle of nowhere and laugh as he drove away. Peter was pulled away from his thoughts by the sight of a mansion as they turned into a driveway. ‘’That’s excessive.’’ Peter joked lightly, and Tony chuckled.

‘’I like big houses.’’ Tony defended, and Peter smiled a little. ‘’Come on, kid,’’ Tony said as the car came to a stop, and Tony opened his car door and got out. Peter took a moment before stepping out himself and closing the door carefully behind him. Peter then slowly walked following Tony towards the front doors and into the mansion.

‘’Bit dark in here,’’ Peter commented as Tony closed the door behind him.

‘’Not for long.’’ Tony told him, before calling out into the mansion walls, ‘’Daddy’s home.’’

Peter watched as the lights flicked on, almost bringing the place to life, and quiet music started to play. ‘’Show off,’’ Peter commented, laughing a little. Peter looked around before his eyes fell on a large brown envelope sitting on a table in front of him, with Tony’s name scrawled across the top. ‘’Looks important,’’ Peter said and nodded towards the table, making Tony walk over and take the envelope in his hands, before tearing it open and looking inside. Tony sighed loudly before throwing them back onto the table and rubbing his eyes.

‘’Divorce papers,’’ Tony explained.

‘’I’m so sorry,’’ Peter said, not knowing what else to say, not knowing how to comfort Tony.

‘’It’s fine.’’ Tony dismissed, waving his hand a little. ‘’I knew it was coming. I’ll sign ‘em.’’ Tony then shrugged off his suit jacket and pulled off his tie, placing them over the chair, and undoing his top button. ‘’Sit down. I’ll get you a drink.’’ Peter just nodded as Tony walked off. Peter guesses to the kitchen. Peter took off his coat and draped it over Tony’s jacket and tie before he walked down and sat on the couch. A few moments later, Tony placed a drink on the coffee table in front of Peter and sat down on the other end of the couch, drink in hand.

‘’You okay?’’ Tony asked, pulling Peter from his thoughts. Peter just glanced over and nodded. ‘’Your leg says different.’’ Tony points out, and Peter’s leg stills.

‘’Just nervous. Anyone would be,’’ Peter mumbled, bringing up a hand to bite at his nails. Tony soon pulls Peter’s hand away from his mouth.

‘’Bad habit,’’ Tony told him, and Peter once again just nodded. Tony sighed, ‘’Seriously? Just tell everything. I’m here.’’

‘’The usual,’’ Peter replied and reached forward to grab his drink. ‘’I’m gonna be rambling a lot, so heads up.’’ With a small nod from Tony, Peter took a deep breath.

“The same as always. I don’t really ever feel any other way.” Peter replied. “I always feel like I’m underwater and the surface is just out of reach, and I’m trying so hard to hold my breath and hang on. Then, on top of that, I feel empty, confused, hurt, and numb at the same time. I feel angry, and disoriented, and vulnerable. As well as insignificant. I feel as if every day is a blur. I feel wide awake but exhausted all at once.” Peter paused for a moment before looking directly at Tony.

“You know that drowning doesn’t actually hurt? Drowning is painless. It’s while you’re holding your breath… While your head is exploding while trying to get you to open your mouth, and the second that you do that, when you let the water in, you’re instantly at peace. I feel like soon I’ll let the water in and there’s no going back.” Peter rambled and Tony was silent for a moment.

“Fucking hell,” Tony said quietly. “Why do you feel like that?”

“I’d tell you if I knew myself,” Peter replied and eyes cast down while he played with the empty glass in his hands. Tony ran a hand down his face before leaning forward and taking the glass out of Peter’s hands and placing it on the table. Tony then took ahold of one of Peter’s hand. Peter looked up and met Tony’s eyes.

“I promise you won’t feel that way forever. I’ll help you.” Tony told him, and Peter felt tears threatening to fall.

“I don’t think you can,” Peter said. “I’ve spent my whole life trying to recover, trying to get better. But something always comes along and something always goes wrong… And once again I’m falling apart and I feel lost again.” Peter sniffled. “Now after what’s happened I cry in the middle of the night over the same damn thing but nothing hurts me more than my own thoughts, and I enjoy that pain… I like it because I know I deserve it. I don’t know why I deserve it… I just know that I do.”

“You don’t deserve it. You don’t deserve to feel like this.” Tony insisted, feeling a lump form in his throat.

“Oh, but I do. I don’t know why… But I do.” Peter resorted and brought his other hand up to wipe away a tear. “I don’t even know why I get upset about this. I don’t like talking about how I feel because I already know that everyone just doesn’t care.” Peter sniffled again while he paused to take a deep breath. “Sometimes I sit and think that… maybe the pain won’t go away… Until I do.”

“I don’t want you to go away. We’ve only just met, and I really wanna spend more time with you. You deserve happiness. You don’t deserve this. What do you think is wrong? I mean, I know the assault wouldn’t have helped things, that would have made you feel a hundred times worse. But, what was wrong before that?” Tony asked.

Peter just shrugged. “Nothing’s wrong. Not really. I just think about killing myself sometimes.” Tony dropped his head and gritted his teeth in the hope that he won’t start crying too. “I know I’m scared. I’m scared… Because I know I can’t fight these fears and thoughts and one day… They’re gonna win. I’m hurting too, but what’s hurting the most is the fact I’m pretending I’ve healed way before I actually have healed. I’m trying so hard to be better. To not be broken and it’s killing me inside.”

“You can’t keep living like this. You can’t keep living scared, and alone, and hurt. Laughing, but not meaning it, smiling but not actually happy. I’m here to help you, Peter. I’ll try my hardest to make you happy. I’m gonna help all your fears, if you let me.” Tony told him and Peter laughed a little, but nothing was funny, it was to stop him sobbing like a child who had just fallen over and grazed their knee.

“My worst fear is that eventually, you’ll get sick of me… sick of the depression, the anxiety, the mood swings, the nightmares, or having to hold me together, trying to fix me, trying to help me, or having to take care of me… Because, come on, who can handle that all the time? But, sometimes my greatest fear is being left alone with my thoughts because I know they’ll kill me one day. You need to find someone who isn’t as damaged as me. I don’t even know why you bother.” Peter replied and Tony shook his head. “Why do you think I told you to go that day? I generally thought that maybe you hated me and just felt sorry for me, so… You kept me around.”

“I already told you. You’re talented and smart and you would have been a great addition to the team. I’m sorry I left, but I promise… I’m not going anywhere.” Tony insisted.

“I’m too unstable, and not worth trying for and I apologize in advance for the fact I’m broken, and that I haven’t found a way to heal, because I’ll probably never find a way to heal. I think that maybe I’m just meant to be alone.” Peter replied. “You know, the hardest part of waking up in the morning is remembering everything I tried to forget the night before, and I don’t know if I’m going to be able to that much longer. But, my point to all this is… There’s no place for me here. Never has been. My whole existence was, and is just pointless.”

Tony just sat and stared at Peter, holding back tears and trying to swallow the lump in his throat and fighting the watch to grab and hold on to the boy for dear life, wrap him up and keep him safe. “Do you ever feel happy?” Tony finally asked.

“I get asked. Like, ‘are you happy?’ And… I sit and think for ages because it’s such a difficult question to answer. I always say yes, always. Because I have to be, especially for my Aunt. I mean, my life isn’t really that bad, I could have it way worse. I don’t have terrible problems. But, then night time comes, and I’m alone, and I’m lying in bed, thinking about myself and my life and I always find myself crying and convincing myself that no one likes me and that no one cares, and no one would even blink if I died, and it’s in that moment that I know I’ve never been happy and probably never will be.” Peter explained. “I need a drink.”

“Yeah, lemme…” Tony refilled his glass and then sat back. Peter downed the contents quickly, popping the glass back onto the table… Peter felt like the air had been sucked from his lungs after he got the chance to sit back and realize what he’d just told Tony. Tony, on the other hand, felt overwhelming sadness and an urge to hide the boy away and make him better. Save him.. 

“Come on, get it all out. I feel like this is what you need.” Tony prompted as they had been sitting in silence for a good ten minutes and all Peter was nod.

“I don’t know what’s left to say. I mean, I hate this feeling. I hate feeling the way I do. I hate being upset all the time, but not knowing why. I feel so fucking empty, and I get asked what’s wrong and I can’t answer, because I don’t know, or people don’t even ask and I don’t know which is worse. I feel like I miss someone who I’ve never even met if that makes any sense. I’m definitely missing people. But it’s like, whenever I’m missing… Doesn’t miss me, or know me, or even need me. Loneliness has become such a great friend of mine and I don’t even care anymore. I isolate myself on purpose, and all this pain and sadness has become my closest and only friend. I hate myself, and I hate everyone else around me, but at the same time I want someone to love, and hold, and care for me. I just hate fucking this feeling, that feeling when you don’t even know what it is that you’re feeling.” Peter explained.

Peter sighed, pausing to finish his drink. Tony watched closely, and desperately tried to think of something to say, but he couldn’t. His brain wouldn’t work, his mouth wouldn’t move. “Some days I feel everything at once, and other days I feel nothing at all. I don’t know what’s worse, drowning beneath waves, or dying from thirst. And, I never experienced real pain until I looked at myself in the mirror, crying and sobbing and begging myself to stay strong for my Aunt and to try and carry on. Even being held down, and violated didn’t come close to that pain.” Peter continued.

Tony kept hold of Peter’s hand the entire time he spoke, offering small squeezes and rubbing the back of his hand with his thumb, and biting back tears. “I’m sorry you feel this way. I’m sorry I can’t think of something to say. You really don’t deserve this. You deserve the world. You deserve someone who loves you with every single beat of their heart. You’re not broken, you don’t deserve the pain you feel, you’re not damaged.” Tony promised and Peter just laughed a little.

“I want to believe that it’s not too late for me. Not too late to be happy and to find peace but… it’s hard. Especially when you’re so lonely, that all you can do is cry, and that’s all you’ve ever known, and you’re broken and no one can see that. Everyone goes on about how every life is special, important and precious… But, no one has ever given a shit about mine. I sit and I think if I died tomorrow, would anyone even remember me the day after? Because I don’t think anyone will. No one has ever heard me say these things. No one’s seen how many times I’ve cried, how many times I’ve given up hope, how many times I’ve been let down, and all the times I‘ve just about snapped… But, I don’t. I can’t. Nobody knows the real thoughts that go through my head, and how horrible they are.” Peter was finally crying, tears running down his face. “I’m so scared that someone is going to break me… That I’ve broken myself… And, when I’m finally gone, I don’t want anyone to cry for me, or feel sad because I think that’s when I’ll be happy.”

Tony gave in at that point, he stood up and pulled Peter up with him, and held him tightly, Peter gripping his shirt like he did the night Tony walked him home, and Tony made a silent promise to save him. Peter pulled away after a few moments and sat back down. Tony walked over to the wonder and out into the city. Tony then turned around to look at Peter. ‘’Come here,” Tony said and Peter wiped his eyes, and stood up. ‘’Come on,’’ Tony said and offered out his hand.

Peter took hold of Tony’s hand and Tony moved him so he was stood looking over the city and Tony stood behind him, arms around his waist and holding him close. “You’re not broken. You’re not. I want you to listen to me carefully, okay?” Tony asked and Peter just nodded. “You matter. You deserve love, and hope, and the world. You deserve someone to love every inch of you. You deserve to be happy. I know, that if you died… I’d be a mess. You’ve been in my life since you were fifteen. I’ve been there when you were physically hurt, I’ve been there when you’ve been happy and excited, and had an innocent look on the world. I’ve been there when you’ve cried when you’ve ignored me and done shit you shouldn’t have been doing.”

“I just don’t believe I deserve-“

“No, listen to me,” Tony told him, and Peter bit his lip. “Do you think if I knew you felt this way back then I would have let you walk around feeling that way? Because I wouldn’t have. You don’t deserve to feel the way you feel. I promise that I’m gonna help. I’ll be here for whatever you need.”

Peter then turned around in Tony’s arms and looked up at him, leaning back against the railing. “Really?”

“Yes. I’m here. I’m gonna be here for you. Whatever you need.” Tony told Peter, and Peter sniffled.

“I just stopped crying and you’re gonna make me cry again.” Peter laughed lightly and Tony smiled.

“I promise that I’ll help stop those tears,” Tony replied and brought up one of his hands to wipe away the wetness underneath Peter’s eyes, letting his hand linger on his cheek for a moment. 

‘’I can feel him all over me. All the time.’’ Peter finally admitted. ‘’I can’t sleep… Because he’s there. I wake up, and I wanna tear my skin off, and scream until my voice breaks.’’

‘’You’ve got no idea who this was? You didn’t recognize his voice or clothes? Anything?’’ Tony asked, feeling anger rise.

‘’Nope,’’ Peter answered. ‘’Nothing. Total stranger. I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Don’t worry, honestly. I’ll get over it.’’

‘’How do you do that?’’ Tony asked.

‘’Do what?’’ Peter returned.

‘’Pretend like nothing’s wrong? Like everything’s fine?’’

Peter just shrugged. ‘’Don’t know. Got used to it. Learned well.’’

‘’You shouldn’t ever of had to learn how to do that.’’ Tony basically whispered, his anger turning to sadness, and an urge to hold Peter close, and not to let anyone near him again. An urge to keep him safe, and treat him the way he deserved. ‘’It kills me to see such a beautiful person like you be this sad because you deserve so much better than this.’’

Peter’s breath hitched a little bit. ‘’Don’t say things you don’t really mean, Tony. Please don’t do that.’’ Please don’t get my hopes up, Peter thought.

‘’I do mean it. You don’t deserve any of this.’’ Tony turned to face Peter, a hand coming up to cheek and moved closer to Peter. ‘’Listen to me. You deserve to be happy. Even when you feel like you don’t. You do. You deserve to have a healthy, loving, grace-filled relationship with someone. You deserve to stop hurting in secret and shame. You deserve the full experience of life. You deserve to be helped and heard. You deserve everything those negative voices have told you that you don’t.’’

Peter sniffled and looked down, but just as he did Tony’s hand came up to his chin to pull his head up to look at him, meeting his eyes, and soft expression. ‘’You said I was beautiful. You said I wasn’t broken. I’m all of those things. I don’t deserve anything but what I go through already. I don’t even feel human anymore.’’

‘’Peter…’’ Tony said with a little click on his tongue, his thumb stroking across Peter’s jaw. ‘’You’re human, you’re beautiful, you’re not broken, and you’re so brave.’’

‘’I don’t believe that. I’m sorry.’’ Peter told him and Tony dropped his hand, and looked away before looking back and shuffling a little.

‘’Alright…’’ Tony started, ‘’Imagine ten year old you… Imagine your sitting right across from them. Now, tell them that they’re worthless, disgusting, that they deserve to be hurt and pain, and that they don’t deserve to be loved. Can you do that?’’ Tony asked and Peter just sniffled and shook his head. ‘’No. No, you can’t. That is what you do to yourself every single day. What do you wanna tell that kid? That they’re incredible and strong, and that they shouldn’t let anyone else tell them that they’re not, right?’’ Tony paused again and watched Peter nod his head. ‘’I want you to say that to yourself every single day from now on. Replace the bad with the good. Repeat it. Understand it, and believe it.’’

‘’I’ve tried. It doesn’t work. I’ve tried to get better. I’m never going to be better. I’m never going to be happy.’’ Peter said, tears falling.

‘’You’re not going to be happy all the time,’’ Tony admitted. ‘’No one ever is. I know I’m not. Sometimes you’re just gonna sorta exist… And that’s okay. You gotta learn first to be satisfied with being content and calm, and not sad. Not sad is good.’’ Tony told Peter. ‘’Not sad is great.’’

‘’I guess…’’ Peter considered. ‘’How are you so calm? Your wife left freaking divorce papers on the table, Tony.’’

‘’It’s fine, because we’re not in love anymore, Peter,’’ Tony explained. ‘’It’s time to call it. Me and Pepper have tried and tried and tried and it’s just not working. We may love each other, but we sure as hell aren’t in love. If that makes any sense at all.’’ Tony sighed and ran a hand down his face. 

‘’When I was young… I used to think love was about red roses and expensive dinners. Truth is, love is giving over half of your fries when they say they aren’t hungry. It’s waking up at four in the morning, and they’re snoring and you resist the urge to shove them off the bed.’’ Tony started and paused when Peter laughed. ‘’It’s talking in funny accents, and trying to embarrass each other in public. It’s going on adventures, and stupid fights, and memorable makeups. Love isn’t pretty and romantic. It’s-’’

‘’Stumbling through life with your best friend.’’ Peter finished quietly and Tony nodded in agreement.

‘’And me and Pepper aren’t like that. We were never like that. We argued constantly and only got on when I messed up and tried to apologize… All for me to fuck it up again.’’ Tony admitted and Peter just nodded. ‘’But, we’re not talking about me. I’ll be fine because I was expecting that.’’

‘’I don’t wanna talk about me anymore,’’ Peter whined, and Tony smirked.

‘’Tough shit. We are.’’ Tony laughed lightly.

‘’I don’t think anyone will love. Who could? I won’t have that.’’ Peter said, looking away from Tony.

‘’Hey…’’ Tony said and placed his hand on Peter’s arm. ‘’Look at me.’’ Peter finally turned his head after a few moments to look at Tony. ‘’You’ll have it one day,’’ Tony said, looking down at Peter. ‘’You’ll have someone who wakes up at four in the morning just to hear about a bad dream you just had. Tease you for little things and apologize six million times when you get upset. Someone who will be nervous when it comes to kissing you that first time, but afterward never want to stop. Offer to buy you that one thing you love but don’t have, and insist that when you tell them no. Someone who will sit and watch your favorite movie even when they don’t like it. Someone to laugh, and cry, and love with you. You’ll have it, I promise.’’

Peter just shook his head. ‘’I was hurt so many times, I’m still so hurt, that it caused me to believe that no one would want a damaged heart.’’

‘’I admire you,’’ Tony admitted.

‘’Why on Earth would you do that?’’ Peter sniffled.

Tony shrugged. ‘’I guess I admire people who choose to shine even after all the storms they’ve been through. After the wind shattered the windows, and broke the foundations. You shine through everything.’’

‘’I don’t shine through shit.’’ Peter insisted, making his way back over to the couch; Tony following closely behind. ‘’It’s crazy how we’ve ended up like this.’’ Peter laughed a little. ‘’You ever thought you’d end up with me crying on your couch telling you how much I hate my life?’’

‘’No,’’ Tony replied. ‘’Because I thought you were happy. And I was hard on you, so now I sit and I feel guilty.’’

‘’Oh no.’’ Peter shook his head. ‘’Please don’t feel guilty. You’ve never done anything wrong. You kept me from being hurt, you helped-’’ Peter stopped for a moment, before huffing out a little laugh. ‘’Holy shit. You helped me. You used to make me forget that my mind was a fucking warzone. You used to make me laugh, and give me something to do, so my mind wasn’t running wild…’’

‘’Really?’’ Tony asked, and Peter nodded, turning his whole body towards Tony, his legs bending up onto the couch.

‘’That’s what hit me so hard,’’ Peter said, everything clicking into place. ‘’You kept me from drowning… And when I made you go away… I fell back under.’’

‘’I’m not going anywhere,’’ Tony promised. ‘’I swear, I’m going nowhere. I’m here and I’m gonna help you.’’ Peter just nodded in response. ‘’You wanna go to bed?’’

‘’Yeah,’’ Peter replied simply, and Tony stood up.

‘’Look… I don’t wanna make you uncomfortable, so you absolutely do not have to… But, due to the nightmares… Would you feel better if someone was with you? If someone was sleeping next to you?’’ Tony asked, and Peter nodded slowly. ‘’Come with me,’’ Tony said and offered his hand out. Peter took it slowly and stood up, following Tony. Peter was guided to Tony’s bedroom. Peter looked around as Tony walked into his closet, walking around slowly, making note of the door leading to a bedroom, and the extremely large bed in the middle of the room. Peter jumped at the little tap on his shoulder, and turned around to face Tony with his hand on his chest. ‘’Sorry… I didn’t mean to scare you.’’

‘’It’s fine. You didn’t. I just… Jumped, I guess.’’ Peter said, and looked at the clothes in Tony’s hands.

‘’I don’t know if they’ll fit you,’’ Tony said and offered out the clothes to Peter. Peter took them and smiled.

‘’Thanks,’’ Peter said, and turned his head, before nodding his head towards the bathroom, and Tony motioned his hand out for Peter to go ahead. Peter then made his way into the bathroom, and locked the door behind him. Peter changed slowly and listened as Tony moved about in the bedroom. The sweats that Tony handed Peter basically just fell off him, and it was then that Peter realized how much weight he’d lost. Peter decided to just wear the shirt and clean underwear, and hope that Tony wouldn’t mind.

Peter unlocked the door and stepped back into the bedroom. Tony turned around at the sound of the footsteps and smiled. Peter smiled shyly and held up the sweatpants. ‘’Don’t fit?’’ Tony asked as he walked over, and Peter shook his head causing Tony to laugh a little bit. Tony took the bottoms out of Peter’s hands and threw them over onto a chair. Peter just stood and looked at Tony, crossing his arms and biting his lip. ‘’You wanna get into bed?’’

‘’Yes, please,’’ Peter answered quietly, Tony then motioned towards the bed, and Peter pulled back the sheets before getting in and pulling the sheets up to his chest. Tony was soon getting in next to him, sitting up under the sheets, but there was enough room easily for two more people. ‘’Custom made bed?’’

‘’You know it.’’ Tony grinned and laughed a little.

Peter laid himself down and turned towards Tony. Both of them were silent for a little while until Peter spoke up. ‘’This is weird.’’

‘’Yeah… A little bit.’’ Tony laughed, and Peter burst out laughing. ‘’What’s so funny?’’

‘’I don’t know!’’ Peter squealed, unable to stop laughing, and Tony just grinned and shook his head. ‘’It’s just… How the fuck am I laid in bed with Tony Stark right now? How is this happening? It’s insane.’’

‘’I’m not that terrible, am I?’’ Tony laughed out.

‘’No! Of course not!’’ Peter said through his laughter. ‘’It’s just totally insane.’’

‘’You’re here because I want you here, and I don’t want you to be alone.’’

Peter’s laughter died down, and he smiled up at Tony. ‘’Thank you.’’

‘’No more hiding away, okay? Don’t open up just to close back up.’’ Tony replied.

‘’I promise,’’ Peter said, and Tony nodded.

‘’Good. Don’t break it.’’ Tony told him, as he finally laid down himself, turning to face Peter. They both laid in silence, eyes closed, and slow breathing. Peter soon turned over, and Tony was fighting the urge to close the space between them and hold Peter close. Peter must of read his mind, because the boy was shuffling back across the bed, and waved for Tony to come closer. Both of them ending up in the middle of the bed, Peter’s back pressing against Tony’s chest, and Tony’s arm thrown over his waist. ‘’How are you feeling now?’’ Tony asked softly.

‘’Safe,’’ Peter admitted. ‘’I feel safe.’’


	2. Don't Wanna Move Yet

Peter pushed the sheets off him and brought his knees up to his chest, crossing his arms over his knees and placing his head down on them, full-body shaking as he sobbed. Tony’s hands hovered over him, feeling useless and in a state of not knowing what to do. “Can I hold you?” Tony asked and Peter nodded his head against his arms. Tony then placed his hands slowly onto Peter, and pulled him away from his arms, and back against his chest, wrapping his arms around his shoulders and resting his head on top of Peter’s, thumbs stroking the sweat-covered skin underneath.

“He found me here. He dragged me away… And-“

“Stop. Stop. You’re safe. He’s not here.” Tony told him quietly, rocking him a little in his arms. “He’s not gonna get close to you ever again. I’m here. You’re safe.”

“Safe,” Peter whispered softly.

“Yeah, baby,” Tony whispered back, completely missing the pet name on his tongue. Peter started to relax in Tony’s arms, melting against him.

“Can I have a shower?” Peter asked and Tony nodded.

“Or I can run you a bath.” Tony offered.

“Bath sounds good.” Peter replied, “But, hold me longer. You’re helping the feel of his hands go away.”

“I’ll hold you as long as you need,” Tony promised, and Peter let out a little sigh of relief. Tony held him close, keeping his arms locked tight, and Peter turned his head up to look at him.

“Why did you call me baby?” Peter asked quietly.

“I didn’t…” Tony said. “Did I?”

“Twice,” Peter confirmed.

“Oh.” Tony said simply. “It just slipped, I guess.”

“Okay,” Peter replied and looked back down, and they both went back to sitting in silence, Peter’s breathing calming down and Tony’s weirdly getting heavier. There was something he couldn’t put his finger on about having Peter curled up in his arms, about him being Peter’s safe place. All Tony knew was that he’d happily be Peter’s safe place for however long Peter needed him to be 

“You wanna go for your bath?” Tony asked, and Peter shook his head, and shuffled in his arms, turning around in them, and pushing Tony down a little, so he was leaning against the headboard of the bed, and Peter then laid down, pushing himself up against Tony’s side, and resting his head on Tony’s chest.

“Not yet.” Peter answered simply. Tony nodded in reply, and stroked a hand up and down Peter’s back. “This helps.”

“Yeah… It… It will do.” Tony said, his tongue feeling heavy, and a weird feeling pooling in his stomach 

“Why?” Peter asked.

Tony shrugged a little. “Contact, comfort… The fact you feel safe with me. It’ll help calm you down.”

“Okay.” Peter replied, “I’ll go for a bath in a second. This is just… Helping. I don’t feel his hands as much when you’re touching me.”

“It’ll get better. I’ll help you with all this.” Tony promised.

“I don’t think I can be helped,” Peter replied quietly, his voice trembling.

“This just happened to you. I promise it’ll get better.” Tony said and suddenly Peter was laughing, body shaking. “Okay, that’s not good.”

“I’m fucking Spider-Man… And I couldn’t push him off.” Peter laughed. “I just laid there like a fucking bitch and took it. I couldn’t use any strength. I’m so weak. It’s hilarious.”

Tony then sat them both up and brought his hands up to Peter’s face, thumbs stroking the skin underneath, and shushing Peter, trying to calm him down. “You’re not weak. This isn’t funny. You froze, you were scared. You didn’t take anything. He fucking violated you. He hurt you. You’re allowed to cry, you’re allowed to feel hurt. You’re allowed to hate every single man walking this Earth. I’m gonna find him, and trust me… It’s not gonna be pretty.”

“Tony, it’s okay. You don’t have to find him. Just let it go. Like you said, it’ll get better. I just need to get over it.” Peter said, his laughter finally gone.

“Nope. Finding him. Can’t stop me. Sorry.” Tony replied, his hands still on either side of Peter’s face. Peter then leaned into Tony’s hand, and Tony used the other hand to run his fingers through Peter’s hair. Peter brought up his hand to place over Tony’s hand, keeping it there, pressed against his cheek, and Peter was looking right at him, innocent brown eyes, red from crying. Peter then leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to Tony’s cheek, the older man now breathing heavily. “What was that?” Tony asked, his voice low, and shaking.

“For making me feel less broken,” Peter whispered, and Tony finally let out the breath he didn’t know he was holding, and pulled Peter close to him, holding him and rubbing a hand up and down his back.

“I just wanna take care of you. I don’t know why… But, we’ll figure that out together.” Tony said, pressing a soft kiss to Peter’s hair.

“Can I stay here while my Aunt’s in the hospital?” Peter asked, his breath ghosting over Tony’s skin, and Tony nodded.

“Stay as long as you need too,” Tony confirmed. “Come on, let’s get you in the bath.” Tony felt Peter nod against him, and watched as he slowly moved out of Tony’s arms and got out of bed. Tony then kicked the sheets away from him and followed Peter into the bathroom. “FRIDAY, run the bath, make sure it’s hot,” Tony said while flicking on the lights to the bathroom, and grabbing a large fluffy towel for Peter, and soon the tub was filling up 

“Bath is huge,” Peter commented while looking down at it, and Tony smiled.

“Made for two,” Tony said, and Peter nodded 

“Can you stay? Sit with me?” Peter asked and Tony walked up to him and stood by his side.

“Yeah, of course.” Tony replied and Peter then reached for the bottom of his shirt. “I-I’ll go and wait outside and let you get in and then… You can call me and I’ll come back in.”

“You can stay. I don’t mind.” Peter while pulling off his shirt, and the taps shut off, the bath full of water. Peter then started to pull down his underwear and Tony whipped himself around, turning his back to Peter.

“Not looking. Nope.” Tony said and he heard Peter laugh and the movement of water.

“You can turn around,” Peter said and Tony turned slowly, and walked closer to the tub, sitting kneeling down next to it. “You’re so weird. 

“I’m not weird. You deserve privacy. You’re not mine to look at like that.” Tony said and Peter just nodded. They sat in silence for a while, Peter leaning back and enjoying the hot water on his skin, and Tony leaned his arms on the side of the tub, his fingers dancing in the water. Tony watched as Peter relaxed and closed his eyes momentarily, and adored how he finally looked calm, and peaceful like his mind wasn’t trying to sabotage him 

“Will you wash my hair?” Peter asked quietly and looked over at Tony.

“Yeah. Sure.” Tony said and grabbed a plastic cup from the end of the bath. “Sit up for me.” Tony instructed and Peter sat up, leaning forward and Tony dipped the cup into the water, and stood up. “Tilt your head back,” Tony told him and Peter did as he asked and Tony poured the water over his hair, repeating until his hair was fully wet. He grabbed the shampoo and slowly massaged it.

“That feels nice,” Peter commented and Tony smiled, rubbing his fingers into his hair and spreading the lather, before washing it out, and watching as Peter leaned back against the tub. “Thank you.”

“No problem.” Tony smiled and knelt back down onto the floor.

“I feel better.” Peter said, “Feel clean. Can’t feel his hands as much.”

“That’s good,” Tony said, bringing up a hand to run through Peter’s wet hair, and smiled when the boy leaned into the touch.

“What time is it?” Peter asked 

“FRIDAY, time?” Tony called out 

“4:32, boss.” FRIDAY’s voice filled the room and Peter sighed.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t think it was that early.” Peter apologized and Tony shook his head and picked up the towel on the floor next to him, opening it up, and holding it out, and motioned for Peter to get out of the bath.

“Don’t be sorry. You can’t control your nightmares. Never be sorry for that.” Tony said as Peter stood up, the view of his body blocked by the towel Tony was holding up. Tony stepped back a little as Peter got out of the bath, and Tony wrapped the large towel around him, drying him softly 

“Shoulda dried my hair first.” Peter laughed lightly and Tony grinned.

“Shush, you.” Tony joked and watched a light blush ghosted over Peter’s cheeks. “You’re beautiful,” Tony commented quietly, and only realized what he said after it left his lips.

“You really think so?” Peter asked, wide eyes and thick lashes looking up at Tony.

“Yes.” Tony replied, “Yes I do.” Tony then cleared his throat, “I’m gonna go get you a t-shirt and some underwear and we’ll go back to bed, yeah?” Tony asked and Peter just nodded in reply and held the towel around his body when Tony let go of it to disappear into the bedroom. Tony walked into the closet, and dropped his head onto the nearest wall, letting out a deep breath. Tony just couldn’t understand what he felt when he looked at Peter. I couldn’t understand why he wanted to keep the boy close, look after him and keep him safe.

Tony hated himself for leaving Peter alone those years ago, hated himself for never calling, never checking in. He didn’t even check on him when Spider-Man basically vanished. Tony just wondered how he never saw how unhappy Peter was, and wondered how someone could hurt some like Peter, someone good and pure. Tony grabbed a t-shirt and a pair of underwear and made his way back to the bathroom, where he was met with bright eyes and a soft smile. Tony handed the clothes over and left Peter alone to get dressed, getting into bed and covering his face with his hands 

“You okay?” Peter asked, walking out of the bathroom and Tony dropped his hands.

“Yeah, I’m good. How are you?” Tony replied, and Peter got back into bed, pulling the sheets over himself.

“Better.” Peter offered simply, and turned himself over, laying down with his back towards Tony. “Can you hold me again?” Peter asked quietly and Tony answered by pulling Peter to him, his back flush against Tony’s chest. Tony shuffled his arm under Peter’s pillow, and placed his other arm over his waist. Peter then brought a hand up to link their fingers together. Tony gave Peter a little squeeze before closing his eyes, and feel honored that Peter allowed him to hold him this way, how close Peter let him be.

»»————- ♡ ————-««

Tony woke slowly, sunlight coming through the windows, and a warm body pressed against him, soft breath ghosting over his skin. Tony opened his eyes and found Peter had turned around in his arms, his chest now against Tony’s and arms curled up between them, one hand resting under his head, wet hair now dry and formed into soft curls, soft breathing and looking peaceful. Tony smiled and attempted to hold him closer, tilting his head down to hide his face in his hair, pressing a soft kiss and listening to the boy hum happily.

“Good morning,” Peter said quietly, voice low and heavenly to Tony’s ears. Tony squeezed him lightly in response. “Didn’t really peg you as a cuddler.”

“Surprise.” Tony chuckled and Peter laughed a little, Tony feeling him smile against his skin. They both went back to laying in silence, Tony holding Peter close and Peter enjoying not feeling the strangers hands on him, all he could feel was Tony and he was certain that it was the best feeling he’d ever experienced.

“We should get up,” Peter said, and Tony nodded against his hair, before lifting his head up a little.

“Probably should.” Tony agreed.

“Don’t wanna though.” Peter laughed, turning over onto his back, and turning his head to look at Tony.

“Neither do I.” Tony smiled. “Come back here.”

Peter laughed a little before turning back into his side and letting Tony wrap his arms around him and hold him close. Tony didn’t want Peter to ever leave his arms, he still couldn’t figure out why. He never felt this way when they first met. Sure, he was upset when Peter told him to leave, but it was because Tony had so much hope for the kid, hope that he would be better than himself. Now, he just wants to keep all the bad shit away and make him happy, make him smile and listen to him laugh, hold him when he cries and make everything better.

Tony made a silent promise to himself that he would help Peter get better, no matter what, even if he would try and push him away. He wasn’t going anywhere.

Tony and Peter eventually got out of bed. Well, Peter did. Tony told Peter to go look through the closet for something that fit him while Tony washed his clothes from the night before. Tony watched as Peter made his way into his closet, before lying back down for a moment. “You find anything?” Tony called out.

“Not yet! I didn’t even think you were a large!” Peter called back and Tony laughed, throwing the covers off himself and sitting up on the edge of the bed, stretching.

“I like wearing a size bigger than what I actually am when it comes to the clothes I just laze around it. It’s comfier.” Tony explained and heard Peter snort.

“Yeah, I’d want bigger clothes after a day of being a tight, boring suit!” Peter called back out to him.

“Hey! My suits aren’t boring!” Tony laughed out. “Seriously? You can’t find anything?”

“I have to try stuff on! Give me a second!” Peter replied, and Tony chuckled as he stood up and started to walk over to the closet, but Tony’s call-out made him stop dead.

‘’Fuck it.’’ Tony grabbed his keys. ‘’Shopping time.’’

Peter quickly though some unfitting clothes and was soon on his way to the mall. The drive was full of shooting jokes back at each other and laughter until Tony pulled up and noticed a huge proud of paparazzi waiting. Peter put his hand on Tony’s arm as he parked up, furiously putting the car into neutral and turning the engine off, before popping on his shades.

‘’We don’t have to do this,’’ Peter offered and Tony shook his head.

‘’I wanted to take you out, so I’m taking you out.’’ With that Tony swung his door open, slamming it shut and collecting Peter from the passenger side.

Tony walked next to Peter with his hand on his lower back, and Peter kept his eyes on the floor as they walked. “I can’t go anywhere without fucking paparazzi.” Tony gritted out, and Peter snapped his head up to see a few men stood around with cameras. “They must have seen my car,” Tony explained and Peter just hummed. “Just keep your head down and ignore ‘em,” Tony instructed and Peter just nodded and cast his eyes back down as Tony guided him towards the mall.

The next few hours were spent walking from store to store, Tony picking item after item, and Peter always insisting that it was too much, too expensive, all to be shushed each time and told to try stuff on. Tony insisting that he could get whatever he wants means they had a shit ton of bags, more Tony’s fault due to his, ‘’This would suit you, here try this one,’’ and ‘’You’d look perfect in this, sweetheart.’’ When it was obvious Peter was about collapse, Tony finally gave up and helped Peter back to the car. 

On the ride home, Peter was sure this man was the best thing that could have happened to him. 

»»————- ♡ ————-««

The next few months were the best months of his life. Tony had helped Peter by getting the best lawyer to the scumbag who had hurt him locked away. (After Tony had found the scumbag and beat him within an inch of his life, but Tony decided Peter didn’t need to know that) Peter was watching May get better every single day, and any day now she would be walking free and healthy. Peter had begun to study online; he made the choice to stick to school and work on getting back in touch with his superhuman abilities. Tony showered him with affection, constantly checking how he was doing, how much he’d studied, what things he had done around the house. 

Tony always to keep Peter smiling and distracted, they spent some time down in Tony’s workshop and even worked out a little in Tony’s gym. Peter generally thought that it was the best day he’d had in a long time. He felt like nothing was wrong like he was normal, felt right stood next to Tony and talking away like that’s how life was meant to be. Peter pushed the thought that he might be starting to develop feelings for the older man out of his head because he didn’t want to chance ruining anything.

They spent as much time as they could together and Peter was over the moon at the fact he had Tony back in his life. 

Peter was now laid in Tony’s bed again while Tony showered, dressed in Tony’s shirt and underwear, and just laid listening to the water running and trying to keep his mind positive. Peter couldn’t believe how great Tony had been. He knew that the whole day he’d been trying his hardest to make Peter smile, to make him happy, to make him feel safe and protected, and Peter was sure that it was beginning to work. Peter didn’t want to leave, he didn’t want to go back to his Aunt’s apartment, he wanted to stay here with Tony, stay safe, and warm, and cared for. 

Peter then looked over at the bathroom door as it clicked open and watched as Tony walked through with a towel wrapped tightly around his waist, pushing a hand through his wet hair. Peter couldn’t help but stare as droplets of water rolled down over his chest and down his arms. Peter took in a small breath and bit his lip a little to stop himself letting out a little noise that would make the whole thing extremely awkward. Peter watched as Tony smiled as he walked towards the closet and once he’d disappeared, Peter grabbed a pillow and whined into it before placing it back and running his hands over his face.

“Are you hungry?” Tony called out from inside the closet. “I could order pizza! We didn’t eat much today. Feel like I gotta be responsible somehow.”

“Pizza sounds good,” Peter called back and listened as Tony instructed FRIDAY on what to order before walking back out of the closet and smiling over at Peter.

“I’ll be back when foods here, I’m just gonna go down to my office for a little while,” Tony announced and Peter nodded before throwing the covers off himself and getting up.

“I’ll come with,” Peter replied and Tony just nodded in response before opening the bedroom door and Peter followed him to his office, sitting himself down on a chair in front of Tony’s desk as Tony settled behind the desk and boots up his laptop and pulls out his phone and sighs.

“Haven’t checked my phone all day, haven’t checked emails… People aren’t happy.” Tony said, before laughing a little. “I don’t care.” He added before putting his phone back down on the desk and Peter smiled a little.

“Running a company hard?” Peter asked, already knowing the answer and Tony looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

“No, it’s a walk in the park. What do you think?” Tony laughed, and Peter grinned, and Tony then looked down at his laptop, both of them sitting in silence for a little while, Tony clicking away and letting out displeased sighs and groans and Peter keeping his eyes locked on Tony, taking in every movement and expression, every time he ran a hand through his hair and long fingers tapping against keys.

“Can I ask you something?” Peter said and just before Tony could answer, FRIDAY announced that food had arrived and Tony smiled. “It can wait,” Peter said and Tony nodded before standing up and Peter followed suit and they soon both ended up on the couch, the box of pizza sitting between them, and them sitting on each end of the couch.

“What did you want to ask?” Tony said after swallowing his mouth full of food, and wiping the corners of his mouth with his napkin. Peter just shook his head and waved Tony off. “No, come on. Talk to me.” 

“It’s nothing. It doesn’t matter anymore.” Peter insisted while he took a bite of pizza and Tony cocked his head at him a little and Peter smiled a little.

“Tell me. Well… Ask me, I guess.” Tony replied.

‘’It’s super weird, I was just reading something-’’

‘’Pete.’’

Peter sighed “What’s a break-up like? How does it feel?” 

Tony took a moment before answering. 

“It hurts,’’ Tony said bluntly.’’ It hurts like fuck. Especially if you really loved and cared about them. It rips you apart when you give your everything to someone and it’s not enough. But, it always gets better. It takes time and it’s a slow process but, it gets better. You find things to occupy your mind, some days you’ll wake up and want to call them, some days you’ll spend crying and listening to songs that reminds you of them, and you might even fall asleep crying because it doesn’t feel right not having them next to you. But, that’s okay, that’s healing. You have to allow yourself to heal, and remind yourself that it will get better. It sucks but, you then have the opportunity to find your someone better.” Tony explained, swallowing the lump in his throat, and looking down at Peter. 

“Why would you even bother with relationships if you know you have that possibility of getting hurt like that?” Peter asked in reply.

“Because being in a relationship has risks. They always have a risk; a risk of being hurt, a risk of being vulnerable, the risk of revealing your true self to someone for them to just walk away. But, you gotta find someone who’s worth that risk. You gotta find someone who’s gonna be the one to catch you when you jump, someone who doesn’t just promise, but actually holds your hand through your hardest times. Yes, it’s always a huge risk, but there’s someone out there who’s gonna be worth that risk.” Tony explained again.

“I just don’t get it. I feel as if you just set yourself up to be hurt, and that’s something I’m not interested in. I mean, not like anyone would actually love me, or be interested in me anyway.” Peter admitted and Tony sighed and gave him a little squeeze.

“Someone will love you. Someone will go out of their way to do something for you just because you it’s important to you. Someone will be there for you at the end of a hard day, and can’t wait to talk to you, and will happily stay up all night to do so. Someone who would drive over at two in the morning just because you’re lonely and need a hug. Someone will wipe away those tears and help make everything better. Someone will love you, I promise.” Tony explained, keeping Peter held close and listening to the little sniffles coming from the younger boy.

“I really hope so,” Peter replied quietly and shuffled in Tony’s arms to get comfy, and to get closer. Tony then leaned his head down and pressed a kiss to Peter’s hair. “Why are you being so nice to me? I just don’t get it.”

“Because I want to… I have a want and a need to take care of you and that’s exactly what I’m gonna do.” Tony said and Peter just sighed and sat up out of Tony’s arms, looking over at the older man. “What?” 

“I just don’t get it. You weren’t like this. You hate people, I was sure you hated me and the only reason I was worth your time was because I was Spider-Man, and all of a sudden you’re all nice and wanting to take care-“

“Jesus Christ. Peter, I never hated you. Why don’t you believe me? We keep backtracking and it’s honestly breaking me down because you don’t deserve to feel this way and I wish you could just believe me when I say that I don’t hate you, I never have and I want to take care of you and keep you safe. You really think I’d spend my money on someone I hate?” Tony rushed out, sitting up and leaning close to Peter who was sniffling again.

“I just struggle with believing it,” Peter explained simply.

“I know that. I know. Just… Try for me. I wouldn’t be doing this if I hated you.” Tony insisted and Peter nodded, bringing up a hand to wipe away a tear.

“I’m trying. Believe me, I am.” Peter resorted, looking down and sniffling.

‘’Let’s go get you all calm down and grab a movie, okay?’’

“Yes, please,” Peter replied quietly and Tony nodded.

After operation ‘Get Peter to Smile’ was a success, Peter climbed into Tony’s bed, dressed again in Tony’s shirt and underwear, while Tony climbed in next to him. “You have your own clothes,’’ Tony commented with a low chuckle, while he pulled the covers over himself and looked over at Peter who shuffled closer and laid on his side, looking up at him.

“Or we could go shopping again,” Peter offered with a wink and Tony grinned down at him.

“That’s what I wanna hear.” Tony praised and noticed the slight blush on Peter’s cheeks. Peter didn’t reply, he just cuddled himself into Tony’s side and closed his eyes, and hummed happily. Tony smiled softly down at the younger man and started to curl his arm around Peter, who lifted his head up to allow Tony to fully lie down on his back and Peter rested his head on Tony’s arm, which was now bent and his hand rubbing small circles on his back.

“You make me feel less broken,” Peter whispered after a few moments of silence and Tony replied by pressing a soft kiss to Peter’s hair and not questioning what he meant by what he said, and ignoring the change in the air and the way his heart beat a little faster at the words that fell from Peter’s lips. Peter let himself melt into Tony, falling asleep comfortably, and feeling safe, and maybe even happy, for the first time in a long time.

»»————- ♡ ————-««

Peter woke up to a light sky, still slightly dark, letting him know that it was still early in the morning, but he also woke to an empty bed and someone heaving into the toilet in the bathroom. Peter opened his eyes and glanced over to find Tony missing from the bed, and a wonderful sick patch across his pillow. “Oh god.” Peter commended before bounding out of bed and rushing into the bathroom to find Tony crouched over the toilet, elbow on the rim and hand in his hair. His shirt was thrown on the floor and Peter noted the wetness down the front of it. Peter quickly knelt next to Tony and placed his hand on his back. “Hey, are you okay?”

Tony just nodded and sat back on the floor, leaning over to grab his shirt to wipe his mouth. “Fucking food poisoning. I knew something was wrong with that pizza.”

“I feel fine. Are you sure it’s just food poisoning?” Peter asked and Tony cocked an eyebrow at him.

“When was the last time you were sick?” Tony asked in return and Peter laughed a little.

“Before the whole spider thing happened. I never really thought about it.”

“Exactly.” Tony groaned and rubbed his stomach.

“Okay. It’s food poisoning, you’re not dying.” Peter smiled and Tony huffed.

“I hardly get sick. I don’t like it when I am.”

“Okay, child.” Peter joked and Tony offered a small smile. “Thanks for being sick in the bed and not waking me.”

“I rushed in here. I’m sorry.” Tony basically whined and Peter laughed again.

“I’m kidding,” Peter replied. “Look, take a cool shower, you’ll feel better, brush your teeth, I’ll find some clean sheets, I’ll get you some clean clothes and a glass of water, and you can go back to sleep.” Peter offered and Tony nodded slowly before getting up off the floor and Peter stood up and stepped close to Tony, placing a hand on his forehead. “Definitely got a fever. Maybe we should get you to a doctor… Make sure it’s just food poisoning. 

“Peter. Trust me. It’s food poisoning.” Tony replied, stepping around him to walk towards the shower. Peter turned around and sighed.

“I worry,” Peter admitted while Tony turned on the shower.

“I know you do. Look, just go sit in the lounge, I’ll take care of everything, and I’ll come get you when I’ve cleaned up my mess.” Tony said and Peter shook his head.

“Nope. I’ll do it. My turn to take care of you.” Peter insisted and Tony smiled. “Now say ‘thank you’ and get in the shower.”

“Thank you, Peter,” Tony repeated and Peter grinned before walking out of the bathroom, and leaving Tony to shower. Peter quickly stripped the sheets off of the bed and piled them up on the floor before going into Tony’s closet to find Tony some clothes. Peter placed the clothes on a chair before hunting down some fresh bedding and making up the bed just as Tony stepped out of the bathroom with a small white towel around his waist. Peter knew this wasn’t the time to be eyeing up the man but, goddamn.

“Your clothes are on that chair,” Peter said while nodding over to the chair in the corner and shaking a pillow into its case and placing it on the bed. “I’ll go get you a glass of water and find something to ease that fever.”

“Ask FRIDAY,” Tony said and Peter nodded before heading out to the kitchen while Tony got dressed and got into bed. Peter returned to the bedroom with a glass of water and Advil and walked over to the bed where Tony was laying 

“Okay, laying under a thick comforter isn’t gonna help your fever. Sleep in the thin sheet. You should know that.” Peter instructed and Tony shook his head.

“I’m cold,” Tony commented and Peter laughed, handing over the glass of water and medication.

“It’s just the fever. Come on.” Peter replied, pulling the comforter off of Tony and pulling a thin sheet over him instead. “You’re such a child.”

“I’m sick. Stop being mean.” Tony joked before raising the glass to his lips, and soon enough Peter was pulling the glass away.

“Sip it. If you gulp it you’re gonna make yourself throw up.” Peter said and placed the glass on the bedside table.

“Peter. I’m fifty-four years old, I’m pretty sure I know how to take care of myself when I get sick.”

“Well, act like it and I won’t baby you.” Peter resorted and smiled before walking around the bed and climbing in next to Tony. Tony stretched his arm across the pillow and Peter settled into his side.

“Thank you,” Tony said and looked down at Peter who smiled in return.

“You’re sick, I’m not gonna leave you to suffer,” Peter replied and Tony pressed a kiss to his hair. “Back to sleep, you need rest. 

“Yeah, that’s gonna have to wait.” Tony gritted out, and quickly got out bed and rushed into the bathroom.

“I told you not to gulp the water! Now the medication’s just gonna come right back up!” Peter called out before getting out of bed and walking into the bathroom and kneeling behind Tony, rubbing his back as the older man gripped the toilet.

“Shush, I know.” Tony heaved out, and Peter sighed sympathetically and grabbed some tissue and handed it to Tony. Tony wiped his mouth and threw the tissue into the toilet before standing up and flushing the toilet. “You don’t have to follow me in here each time. I’m not gonna die.”

Peter then laughed a little and stood up. “I’m taking care of you,” Peter replied simply and Tony half smiled and nodded. “Back to bed, come on,” Peter instructed and started walked out of the bathroom but, Tony reached a handout and stopped him, before pulling Peter into him and wrapping his arms around him. Peter smiled and hugged his arms around Tony’s waist, head resting against his shoulder and secretly enjoying being in the older man arms way too much.

“Remember you deserve the world. You’re too pure. Too good. Thank you.” Tony whispered to him and Peter sniffled, holding back tears 

“What’s going on?” Peter asked, arms still around Tony’s waist and enveloped in Tony’s arms.

“Just… You being you.” Tony replied and Peter laughed a little. “I’m sorry shopping day is ruined. 

“Don’t be silly. I don’t care about that. I’ll just keep stealing your clothes, it’s fine.” Peter laughed out and Tony chuckled and pressed a kiss to his hair. “Okay, I gotta ask… What is with the whole little kisses thing?”

“Sorry. I’ll stop. I just think you deserve affection… Plus, I like doing it.” Tony admitted and Peter shook his head.

“I don’t mind… Just wondered.” Peter shrugged and Tony smiled and gave him a little squeeze before tilting his head down and pressing another kiss to his forehead. Peter then looked up and locked eyes with Tony, and suddenly it felt like all the air had left the room. Tony rubbed a hand up and down his back slowly, and Peter just kept his eyes on Tony’s. “Thank you for looking after me. Helping me.” Peter told him quietly and Tony nodded and offered a small smile. “You should… Erm, get back to bed. You need to rest.’’ 

“Yeah. Yeah, come on.” Tony said and dropped his arms from around Peter, but Peter stayed where he was for a moment before unlocking his arms from around Tony and stepping back out of the man’s space. Peter smiled before turning and walking back out of the bathroom and settled into bed, ignoring the weird butterflies in his stomach.

Tony climbed into bed shortly after, laying down and turning on his side, facing away from Peter. Peter laid looking up at the ceiling for a few moments, lightly lit as the sun began to come up, before turning over and shuffling close to Tony, curling up close. Tony then turned back over and placed an arm over Peter’s waist, and bent the other arm bent under his own head. Peter smiled against Tony’s shoulder and couldn’t stop himself placing a small kiss before letting his arm drape over Tony.

»»————- ♡ ————-««

Tony woke a few hours later, arms still tightly around Peter who was whimpering, gripping the pillow beneath his head and eyes screwed uptight. Tony lightly shook his shoulder. “Peter, wake up, it’s just a dream,” Tony said quietly to the younger boy, but Peter just whimpered again and began to tremble. “Peter, baby, wake up.” Tony tried again, his voice a bit louder and more forceful, which thankfully got the boy to finally open his eyes, wet with tears and still shaking.

“I fucking hate this,” Peter whispered before sniffling and curling closer to Tony. “I hate feeling this. I hate seeing him in my dreams. I slept fine earlier. I don’t get it.”

“This just happened to you. You need time to heal. It’ll get better.” Tony replied quietly, rubbing a hand up and down Peter’s back. “I’ll do anything I can to help you. You know that.” Tony added, and Peter just sniffled again and nodded against his shoulder in reply, and Tony held him close, trying to help stop him from shaking 

“Are you feeling better?” Peter asked quietly.

“Yeah, actually. It must of just been random sickness. Pretty sure it was the pizza’s fault.” Tony replied and Peter laughed a little.

“The pizza was great.” Peter insisted and Tony shook his head 

“Pizza tried to kill me.” Tony joked and Peter laughed again against his shoulder. Peter was still shaking a little, so Tony tightened his arms around Peter and continued to rub his hand up and down his back, the younger man humming in appreciation. “Feel good enough to take you shopping… So, I guess that wasn’t ruined after all.”

“Oh no. You’ll feel fine until you eat or drink something, I guarantee you. No shopping. You’re resting.” Peter replied, moving back a little to look at Tony who huffed in response 

“Why don’t you go and see your Aunt today?” Tony asked and Peter nodded. ‘’I’ll get Happy to take you and then bring you home.’’

“You gonna survive on your own?” Peter teased and Tony chuckled a little.

“Yes, you little shit,” Tony replied, and Peter laughed, letting his head fall back against Tony’s shoulder.

“Don’t wanna move yet, though.”


	3. You're The Best Thing

The next three weeks for Peter had been heaven. His rapist had been caught and all he had to do now was a few interviews and a couple days of seeing this attacked in caught. His aunt got stronger and better every day, and the past three nights had been nightmare free. He and Tony had figured out that his emotions and trauma had blocked his strength, and Tony spent every other day helping him work out and build up his strength which was working. Slowly working, too slow for Peter’s liking but, Tony had promised that he’d get there and that it’d come back eventually. Peter couldn’t stop himself developing feelings for Tony, every day Peter fell deeper and his mind played meaner, harder tricks to try and convince him that Tony would just leave him eventually, and he’d be all alone once again, but of course, it could never last.

Tony opened the door and let Peter walk into the mansion before himself. Peter was rubbing at his arms and letting out long shaky breaths. They had both just gotten back from the police station, Peter had managed to get through the first rounds of the interviews, but ended up breaking down in the back of the car on the drive home. Tony watched as Peter shrugged off his jacket, letting it fall to the floor as he rushed over to the couch to sit down. Tony slowly made his way over to Peter after closing the front door behind them, taking his time purely in case Peter wanted to be alone.

“Fuck, I feel like I’m going to bust out of my skin. Or, probably feel like I’m gonna rip my skin off. God, I don’t know how I’m feeling. I’m so stressed out,” Peter rushed out, his hand running through his hair and pulling slightly at the locks as he passed his hand through, and legs bouncing quickly. “I think I’m gonna go and have a shower.”

“You just showered this morning,” Tony pointed out softly, sitting down on a chair to the left of Peter. Peter sighed and nodded.

“Yeah, you’re right. I did.” Peter then tilted his head down and laced his fingers at the back of his neck, elbows resting on his bouncing legs that showed no signs of slowing down and letting out quick breaths, clearly trying not to cry again.

Tony looked him over for a moment before getting an idea. “I’ll be right back,” Tony announced quietly before standing up, and offering a small smile but, Peter didn’t look up or acknowledge what he had just said. Tony walked to the bedroom, and into the closet before kneeling down at the draw that Peter had previously dug through with interest and a smiling face. Tony pulled out two pieces of rope and walked back to the lounge. Peter hadn’t moved, he was still in the same position but, now he was pulling at his hair at the back of his head, and gripping it tightly after he pulled on it.

Tony sat down next to Peter and rubbed at his arm softly with one hand, “Hey, come on, don’t do that,” Tony said softly, attempting to coax Peter to drop his hands away from his hair, which thankfully he did with a little nod. Tony smiled at Peter as he dropped his hands into his lap for a moment before bringing his fingers to his mouth and biting at his nails and the surrounding skin. Peter glanced at Tony and the rope in his hands. “What’s that for?” Peter asked behind his fingers.

Tony turned towards him before speaking, “Back when I started being a Dominant,’’ Peter’s eyes shot up, but Tony cut him off quickly, ‘’I’ll tell you the whole story for another day, just listen.’’ Peter nodded slowly and Tony cleared his throat ’… like really doing it, I met a woman who had a tendency to break down during certain scenes, well… Most scenes actually, like have episodes of purely breaking down. I ended up stopping doing scenes with her completely, as I thought that maybe she was new to it all, didn’t really know what she wanted, and that I was doing stuff wrong which would cause me to drop. 

Turns out, she had been a submissive of mine for years but, was recently dealing with trauma for something. What? I don’t know. She never told me. I soon realized that the only time we got through a scene was when bondage was involved, and after spending some time together she explained that when she was bound she felt like she finally wasn’t going to just burst out of her skin to try and get away from it all. So, when she started to have episodes of breaking down outside of a scene I found that something as simple as tying her hands together would help her calm down, she would be able to sleep and she would wake up relaxed and happy.”

“So what’s the rope for?” Peter asked again, fingers now drumming against his still moving legs.

“I thought it might help you. If you’re happy for me to do this, and you’re happy to try. I won’t leave you alone, I can hold you if you want, or just sit close by,” Tony explained.

“What if it doesn’t work?”

“Then I’ll untie you and I’ll think of something else. I’m not gonna leave you there with your hands tied,” Tony promised. Peter looked around for a moment before nodding. Tony raised an eyebrow at the younger man, and Peter sighed softly.

“Yes, Tony… I’d like to try it,” Peter said, and Tony smiled a little before getting off the couch and crouching down in front of Peter.

“Hold your hands out, wrists together, but hands opened out so I can twist the rope around the middle,” Tony instructed and Peter stretched out his arms a little and did as he said. Tony took a piece of rope and wrapped it carefully, but securely around Peter’s wrists, and leaned back a little once he was done. “How does that feel? Is it too tight?”

Peter let his bound hands rest back onto his chest, not knowing how else to have them. “It’s fine. Feels fine.”

“Do you want me to hold you?”

Peter shook his head. “Not right now.”

Tony nodded and got up, and sat back down in the chair he was sitting in. Peter let himself rest back against the couch, legs still bouncing rapidly. Peter looked down for a few moments, before looking back up at Tony. “How are you feeling?” Tony asked.

“I don’t know. The same? I like how this feels, though,” Peter said and let out a long breath. “Kinda feel like I can do nothing else with my hands other than rest them here. Like, I wouldn’t be able to rip my skin open or pull at my hair. I like that,” Peter explained and Tony nodded. “What’s the other piece of rope for?”

Tony pointed towards Peter’s legs, “Only if you want me too, of course.”

“Y-Yeah, do it,” Peter replied, legs slightly moving less. Tony nodded.

“It’s gonna be more comfortable on the bed, you okay with that? I can do it right here, but you’ll have more room there,” Tony explained and Peter nodded and shuffled forward before slowly getting up.

“That was way more difficult than I thought it would be,” Peter said and Tony chuckled.

“The more times you don’t use your hands, the easier it gets. Come on.” Tony followed Peter into the bedroom and waited as Peter got himself onto the bed and laid back against the pillows, shuffling a little to get himself comfy, his feet shaking and legs knocking together. “What’s on your mind right now?” Tony asked, now standing at the foot of the bed.

“Him,” Peter said quickly, the one word explaining everything. “I just feel like I could shred off all my skin and I’ll still be able to feel him.”

“Do you want me to unt-“

“No,” Peter said through a shaky breath, “I feel like it’s doing something. Slowly. It’s helping.”

“Alright,” Tony agreed. “Bend your legs up for me, please.”

Peter did as Tony instructed and Tony climbed onto the bed, sitting next to him. “Can you take my jeans off? Just in case I fall asleep. I hate sleeping in jeans,” Peter said quietly, and Tony nodded, moving to take off Peter’s socks before taking off his jeans.

“You want me to go and get you some shorts?” Tony asked and Peter shook his head. “Shall I just…”

Peter nodded and Tony moved to kneel in front of him, beginning to wrap the rope around his thighs. Tony then stopped and looked around the room for a moment before letting out a sigh and sitting back.

“What’s wrong?”

“I just… This feels wrong. Like, just feels off,” Tony explained. “Let me untie you.”

“No! Tony,” Peter whined a little. “This is working, I swear. I like it.”

“Are you sure? Because I don’t you want to be secretly uncomfortable and just doing it because I brought it up.”

“I’m not! I promise! I wouldn’t lie to you. I want to try this,” Peter insisted and Tony nodded reluctantly, before continuing to tie the rope securely around Peter’s thighs, his legs finally no longer bouncing or knocking together, but his feet still shaking a little and toes wiggling against the sheets.

“How does that feel?”

“Good,” Peter answered simply.

“Not too tight?”

“No, it’s good. It’s fine,” Peter confirmed. “Can you do my ankles too?”

“Sure. I can do that. Hang on,” Tony replied as he got off the bed and went into the closet to grab another piece of rope. Tony had soon tied Peter’s ankles together too and Peter finally let out the first slow steady breath since the ride home.

“I can see why she liked it. The girl you met, I mean,” Peter said after a few moments of silence.

Tony hummed. “Do you want me to stay with you? Like, to see if you fall asleep?”

“Yes, please. Can you lay with me?” Peter asked while flipping himself onto his side, legs bending a little, almost like he was trying to curl up. Tony laid himself down next to Peter and turned himself towards him. Tony looked down to see that Peter’s feet were still slightly moving, so he reached out a hand and slowly rubbed Peter’s arm.

“Relax, okay? Nice deep breaths,” Tony instructed and Peter nodded, shuffling himself back so his back was against Tony’s chest.

They laid in silence, Tony now rubbing Peter’s back and Peter’s feet no longer moving. The slight possessive feelings over Peter bloomed in Tony’s chest as well as the feeling of always needing to protect him. He felt like he absolutely needed to make sure no one ever got the chance to hurt him again, and needed to make sure he could make Peter truly happy.

Tony laid there next to Peter until he was breathing evenly and snoring lightly. Tony carefully got out of bed, not wanting to wake Peter, and quietly told FRIDAY to announce when Peter was waking up as he exited the room. Just as he walked into the kitchen he found Pepper standing at the table, looking over scattered papers on the table.

“How long have you been here?” Tony asked, sliding his hands into his pockets as he walked over to her.

“Not long,” Pepper replied simply. “I need you to sign a few things and I’ll be out of your way.” She then slid a pen and an envelope towards Tony. “It’s marked where you need to sign.”

“Sure.” Tony grabbed the pen and pulled the papers out of the envelope.

“How are you?” Pepper asked, not looking up from the papers she was currently looking through.

“Fine,” Tony answered bluntly, scribbling his signature next to the marked lines. “How’s Happy?” Tony asked bitterly.

Pepper sighed and looked up at Tony. “Can we please be adults about this? Or is that too difficult for you?”

“Oh absolutely. I’m perfectly fine with my wife running off with one of my best friends. I apologize for being so immature,” Tony replied, his voice laced heavily with sarcasm, pushing the papers back into the envelope and pushing them across the table.

“If it’s so much of an issue then why does he still work for you? Why are you completely fine with him?”

“Hardly,” Tony said quietly, folding his arms against his chest.

“Don’t even try that. He’s been running around for you like crazy this past month,” Pepper pointed out.

“What, you want full custody?” Tony joked and Pepper scoffed.

“Tony, Jesus Christ, I didn’t come here to argue!”

“No, you came for me to sign shit over to you, and get whatever of your stuff that’s left here,” Tony replied. “The only thing I didn’t sign over was the apartment in Queens.”

“Why? You literally never go there. I go there.”

“Yeah, once or twice. It’s hardly used and I’m going to be renting it out,” Tony informed her.

“To who?” Pepper asked, putting the envelope and other papers into her bag before picking up the bag.

“Doesn’t matter who. But, you can’t have it. That’s the end of it. There’s a box by the door that has your stuff in it,” Tony said, before walking towards the door. “See yourself out.”

Tony then ignored whatever reply she gave and headed back to the bedroom to check on Peter, not really wanting to leave him alone at all. Tony walked in and found that Peter was slowly waking up, letting out a little yawn and trying to stretch his arms and legs which made Tony chuckle. Peter then looked over and laughed. “I forgot,” Peter commented.

“How are you feeling?” Tony said, walking over to sit next to him, bringing a hand to run through his hair.

“Mmm, good. Feel… Kinda floaty. If that makes any sense,” Peter replied, leaning into Tony’s touch.

“Well, I’m clearly not the only one who moved on quickly,” A disembodied voice called out and Tony whipped his head around to find Pepper standing in the bedroom doorway. “Nice to see your back to that whole Dom shit.”

“Go to the lounge, I’ll be there in a minute,” Tony told her, and waited for her to walk away before turning back to Peter. “Want me to untie you now?”

Peter blushed a little and shook his head. “Go talk to her first. I’ll be okay.”

Tony hummed before ruffling Peter’s hair, the younger man grinning at him before Tony stood up and walked out of the bedroom and towards Pepper.

“Can’t believe you give me shit for being with someone else and yet… There’s someone in our bed,” Pepper laughed out, throwing her bag on to the couch.

“First of all, you cheated. Second of all, it’s not what you think. Not that I owe you an explanation,” Tony replied, walking closer to her, hands in his pocket. “Third of all, not our bed. It’s my bed. And, kinda his.”

“Then what is it? Because you don’t just randomly have a little brunette tied up in your bed.”

“It’s a calming method. He’s gone through some shit, I thought it might work and it did. Nothing more too it,” Tony explained and Pepper rubbed her temples. “And he’s not a ‘random brunette’. I’ve known him years.”

“How is tying someone up a calming method?!” Pepper half-shouted.

“It worked! It’s different for each person. It worked and that’s all that matters,” Tony replied, remaining calm.

“What’s he been through? What required you to tie him up to calm him down?”

“That’s not my business to tell you,” Tony told her and Pepper just scoffed in reply and grabbed her bag.

“Whatever, Tony. I’ll call you when this needs finalizing. Hopefully won’t take too long. Enjoy… Whatever this is,” Pepper said, and Tony watched as he walked towards the front door and slammed it behind her.

Tony groaned and rubbed a hand down his face before walking back to the bedroom to Peter who smiled softly when Tony walked through the doorway. “Is she angry? Is it my fault?” Peter asked and Tony shook his head and returned to where he was sitting before.

“No, of course not. She just likes an excuse to call me out on stuff. Let’s get you untied,” Tony replied, and Peter stretched his arms out towards Tony. Tony proceeded to untie his arms before moving down to his legs and ankles. Peter took a few moments to stretch out his arms and legs, groaning softly as he did so. “So, did it help?”

“I think so. It did something. I’d definitely try it again,” Peter said. “How are you?”

“Oh, I’m fine. You can go back to sleep if you want. You’ve only been asleep for like, half an hour,” Tony offered but, Peter shook his head.

“You think we could go out and get something to eat?”

“Why don’t we have lunch here and later I’ll take you to dinner,” Tony replied and Peter grinned.

“I’d like that,” Peter said while sitting up.

»»————- ♡ ————-««

Tony pulled out Peter’s chair and Peter smiled as he sat down, Tony pushing in his chair as he did so. Tony then leaned down a pressed a quick to Peter’s cheek before walking to sit down himself. Peter looked around the restaurant from his and Tony’s corner table, tucked away from everyone else. Peter then looked and Tony and found him staring, a small smile across his lips. “What?” Peter laughed. 

“You’re beautiful,” Tony replied simply, watching as a blush washed over Peter’s cheeks and picked up a menu. “You look gorgeous.”

“Thank you. You look really good too,” Peter grinned. “So, how are you? I mean, we always talk about me. We hardly talk about you,” Peter said after their waiter walked away. 

“Honestly, I’m fine. You don’t need to worry about me,” Tony said, looking through the menu. 

“You always worry about me. Why can’t I worry about you?” Peter asked and began looking through a menu himself, but soon placed it back down deciding that he would just eat whatever Tony picked. 

“I’d be doing a lot worse if I didn’t have you to keep my spirits up,” Tony replied, glancing up and offering a small smile. 

“You don’t mean that,” Peter shrugged off, and waited for Tony’s reply as Tony called the waiter over to order their food. 

“Why don’t I?” Tony finally asked when the waiter walked away.

“I’m always miserable,” Peter laughed. 

“You’re not always miserable. Just sometimes. But, I get to make you smile. That makes my day. Especially when you’ve been so upset all day, and you finally light up and it’s because I did that. You’ve got no idea how much I like to make you feel better.” Tony explained, and Peter grinned. 

“I can’t believe how lucky I am. You’re so good to me and it’s so random and strange and weird. But, I’m actually so happy that I like, got you, you know. I feel like I don’t show you how appreciative and thankful I am of everything you’ve done. Like, helping my aunt and helping me sort out my demons. Getting that guy put away. You literally hunted him down, and I know I was really annoyed and kinda angry about it at the time. I know you did it to protect me and I’ve never had that before so I don’t know how to act, or what to do. I just want you to know that I’m just… Happy. I haven’t really felt that before and it’s because of you.”

“Goddamn. Warn a guy next time,” Tony chuckled. Peter, I’m gonna be here for you always. In any way that you need.” 

“I hope so. I like being around you. You’ve helped me so much already,” Peter replied. Tony then reached across the table and opened his hand. Peter smiled softly as he placed his hand onto Tony’s and felt Tony offer a little squeeze as he held his hand. Tony lifted Peter’s hand and placed a soft kiss to his knuckles before releasing Peter’s hand and watching him break out into a full smile. 

Soon enough their food was placed in front of them and Peter couldn’t wait to finally eat. Tony filled both of their glasses with the wine he ordered and they both began to eat in a comfortable silence. Peter honestly hadn’t felt like this before, safe and comfortable, and almost happy. Peter could also feel his feelings for Tony getting stronger by the day, each time Tony complimented him or helped him, or simply smiled his way made the feelings run deeper and Peter had to keep pushing the thoughts that Tony doesn’t really want him there and that soon enough he would leave him all alone, to the back of his mind. He just wanted to enjoy the night, and imagine that Tony was feeling the same way as he does. 

“This steak is really good. Like, so good,” Peter commented, and Tony nodded in agreement. 

“I’m glad you like it. This is my favorite place,” Tony replied, picking up his glass and taking a sip. “I’m picking up your laptop tomorrow morning. Okay, the way you just lit up right there. Why is that?”

“It’s like, the ultimate gaming laptop. It comes in this like, military-style case. Like a pelican case. It has a twenty-one-inch curved screen. The trackpad can be flipped over, and the keyboard then expands because most won’t use the trackpad while gaming. The refresh rate is amazing, it has five system fans and nine heating pipes to cool it down. It’s just… The best. I could sit here and talk forever. I’m so excited.” Peter explained. Tony watched as his eyes lit up as he spoke. 

“Hmm, I bet I could make better,” Tony winked and Peter laughed. 

“Then why don’t you? A lot of people are willing to spend like, a lot of money for decent, reliable gaming systems.”

“It’s an idea. We’ll talk about it another time.” Tony responded. “How are you feeling?”

“Honestly, so good. A lot better,” Peter sighed happily. “I felt like I could just rip my skin off. But, afterward, I just felt… Like, safe and happy and calm, and clear-headed. I get why people like it, it’s great.’’

“I’m glad that I could help,” Tony replied, smiling a little at Peter’s admission of understanding why people enjoyed being tied up. 

“So,” Peter started after finishing his mouthful. “What’s it really like to be a Dominant?”

“It’s…” Tony started, a little thrown off by the question, and also trying to think of how he could describe it. ‘’You know what BDSM stands for, right?’’ Tony checked quickly, to which peter nodded. “Exhilarating. Just being able to have control over someone, having someone give themselves over to you, that trust they have to basically say, ‘I’m yours, do as you please.’ And when it comes to total power exchange, and it’s a situation where they have that trust for you to have complete authority over them and their every move, it’s… It’s so hard to explain.’’

Peter nodded a little, lifting his glass to his lips, and taking a small sip of the wine. “Erm, what things are you into?” 

“Curious one tonight,” Tony joked, offering a wink and grinning at how a blush spread over Peter’s cheeks. 

“I’m sorry if that’s intrusive. You can tell me it’s none of my business. I’m just… Taking an interest, I guess.”

“It’s fine, Peter,” Tony reassured. “Well, the main thing that does it for me is pain. Causing pain. Receiving isn’t bad either, but much prefer causing…’’ 

“Seriously?” Peter asked, a slight squeak to his voice that Tony couldn’t help but find adorable. Tony picked up his glass and smirked, raised an eyebrow and took a slow sip from his glass. 

“You asked,” Tony chuckled. 

“I-I just didn’t think that would be like, your thing,’’ Peter giggled. ‘’What else?’’

“Well, some are purely sexual, like just a one time scene. Some have a constant dynamic like I’ve just explained. There are people who just keep to the bedroom and those who practice it through normal daily life. The type of Dom that I usually choose to be is more of a lifestyle. If I go out of that, it’s usually for total power exchange, a lot of pain included, of course” Tony looked up at Peter who looked like he was taking a moment, thinking.

“What’s that?” Peter asked finally.

“When a Submissive basically hands themselves over. They relinquish all control and give themselves to their Dominant. The Dom has complete control over them, even when it’s not during a scene.” Tony then laughed a little bit, and sat back as much as he could. 

Peter took a moment before replying, 

‘’What was the other one?’’

Tony stuttered, to begin with, but finally spoke. “I have a Caregiver and Little dynamic.” Peter just raised his brow in response, confusion. 

“Okay, you need to just explain things because I’m clueless.” Peter laughed lightly.

“Basically a Caregiver is a type of Dom who looks after, and nurtures a Sub who tends to act a lot younger than they are. Whether it be a child, a teenager. As well as having that dynamic… I also offer to be…” Tony then paused again. “Didn’t think I would be having this conversation with you. Ever. I offer to also be their-“

“Holy shit, you’re a sugar daddy! Knew it! Called it!” Peter laughed and clapped his hands together, and Tony quickly shushed him, looking around the restaurant.

“I can’t believe I’m having this conversation with you!” Tony groaned into his hands.

“Wait! So, do your Submissive’s call you Daddy?” Peter smirked and Tony nodded behind his hands, before dropping them and looking at Peter, who had a grin on his face. ‘’No way!’ Peter giggled, “I just didn’t think you were like this!” Peter admitted and Tony nodded.

“I keep it private. Extremely so,” Tony replied, and hadn’t realized that his hands had found Peter’s, their fingers locked together.

“I get that.” Peter nodded. “You think you’ll ever go back to it?”

“Being a sugar daddy? Probably. Being a Dom? Probably not. I feel like that’s done with.” Tony responded. “I drop hard afterward. After most scenes,” Tony explained. “I just feel awful. In the moment, it’s perfect and I enjoy every second and it really does it for me, but once it’s all done with… I feel guilty as hell.”

“Drop?” Peter asked, sitting back a little in his chair. 

“Dropping is like, a depressed or guilty feeling after an intense scene. It’s like, coming down from a high. Most people think it’s just the Subs that drop, but most of the time while Dom’s are going through the aftercare process, they’re dropping themselves. Some Subs make sure to take care of their Dom’s, but only a small few of mine have actually bothered checking how I’m doing,” Tony informed Peter, who smiled a little. 

“I just don’t get why you would drop if you’ve had a good time. I mean, I get the guilty thing, but the Subs… If they’ve had a good time why would they?”

“It doesn’t happen all the time. It’s like, they can experience Subspace too, like Dom’s can experience that kinda space as well. A drop is basically a chemical imbalance. Like I said, like coming down from a high. Whereas Sub or Dom space is like, when you hit that high when there’s total trust and you complete immerse yourself into that scene. But, there’s a downside because sometimes either yourself or them are incapable of making rational decisions,” Tony took another sip from his glass and smiled over at Peter who looked like he was thinking of what to say next. 

“You ever experienced Dom space?” Peter asked and Tony nodded. 

“A couple of times,” Tony told him, and Peter hummed. 

“What’s it like?”

“Full of questions,” Tony chuckled. “Well, it’s different from Subspace, as a Sub can totally lose themselves, whereas, I’m leading, I’m in control and I’m responsible for taking care and making sure that they stay safe and happy. I can’t lose myself that way. But, I feel… Primal, and powerful. I feel present, if that makes sense, whereas they can drift to where they wanna go. I’m thinking of what to do next, and how to have them. It’s like I’m hyper-focused, but just on them. Everything else around that is a blur, my only concern is the Sub.”

“Do you know how Subspace feels?” Peter asked and then laughed a little. “I need to stop. I’m sorry, let’s talk about something else.”

“No, if you wanna talk about it then I’m more than happy to talk about it,” Tony replied, and Peter grinned and nodded. “I don’t. I’ve attempted being a Sub, but it didn’t work out. From what they’ve described it sounds pretty wonderful. I’ve been told that they feel floaty and warm, sometimes shaky and out of breath, I’ve known a few to completely throw out their safe word which means that I have to end the scene because they would honestly let me do whatever I wanted.”

“I felt… Like, kinda warm and really happy when I woke up earlier,” Peter said and shuffled a little in his seat. “Y-You think-“

“Probably not,” Tony cut off. “It would be more… Feeling calm, and safe. It’s not as simple as that.”

“Oh,” Peter nodded. “Can I ask more questions?”

You just did,” Tony said, and Peter laughed. 

“What’s good about being a sugar daddy? I mean… They’re literally there for your money.” Peter said, confused and waving his fork as he spoke.

“Usually it’s only when I already have a relationship, like I explained before, going on, and I just naturally want to spoil whoever it is that I’m with. I enjoy buying gifts, and going over the top, and being able to say that I can take care of it. Especially to those who have nothing. I’ve only been with one person like that, all the rest had plenty,” Tony explained.

“So, why would you be a Sugar Daddy and not a Dom? I mean, if you usually do both in like, one set relationship…” Peter asked, and Tony just shook his head, and waved him on, telling him to move onto the next question.

“H-How do you know what you’re into? Like, without actually doing anything?” Peter brought his glass to his lips to finish the contents. 

Tony shrugged. “Well, what kinda porn do you watch?” 

Peter coughed and sat the glass down and Tony couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped him, grinning at how Peter turned red. “I-I don’t… I mean, I’ve never-“

“You’ve never watched porn?” Tony asked curiously, finding Peter’s admission absolutely adorable, and Tony couldn’t believe how innocent and pure he was.

“I think once. But, the idea just stresses me out,” Peter explained and Tony leaned forward a little as Peter spoke. “I just feel like it’s so staged, and awkward, and it’s always terrible.”

Tony spoke as he grabbed the bottle of wine and filled Peter’s glass before topping up his own, “Nah, you gotta watch the amateur shit.”

“Isn’t that worse? It’s just like, filmed on a toaster.” 

Tony snorted and laughed. “No, it’s better,” Tony told Peter and sat back in his chair. “Anyway, we’re getting off-topic here.”

“Yeah, just a little,” Peter agreed. “So, is that how you found out?”

“No. I attempted being a Sub for a while. I soon decided that I’d rather be in the Dom’s place. I went away and researched, made sure I knew what I was doing and I slowly tried new things and well…” Tony shrugged a little. 

“Now you’re a Dominant,” Peter finished and Tony nodded. 

“Exactly.”

“Well, I kinda get the whole tying up thing- 

“Wait. You do?” Tony cut off, raising an eyebrow. Tony watched as once again Peter blushed, and Tony found himself wanting to find out how far down that blush spread. Peter shuffled a little in his seat and cleared his throat.

“Y-Yeah. I mean, it was super helpful and really calming but, it was also… Exciting? I don’t know how to explain it. 

Tony hummed, his head filled with thoughts he probably shouldn’t be thinking about the younger man. He watched as Peter glanced around the restaurant, and Tony just couldn’t understand how anyone could ever even imagine hurting him. Tony was sure that he wanted Peter to be all his, he wanted to hold him close and make sure no one ever got the chance to hurt him again. He wanted to be the one to always cheer him up, and make him smile. 

“You ready to go home?” Tony asked and Peter replied with a smile and a small nod. 

»»————- ♡ ————-««

Peter stumbled through the door, laughing loudly with Tony following behind, a grin on his face and chuckling. “You’re gonna be the death of me, kid,” Tony commented, closing the door behind him and throwing his keys onto the table. 

“It’s the squeak! The duck! It’s not even funny but, it’s so fucking funny,” Peter’s laughter intensified, and he bent over, hands on his knees and Tony couldn’t help but laugh at the sight. Peter was finally opening up and starting to enjoy things, and Tony was so glad that he were the one to help him. 

“You’re not allowed to show me videos anymore. Look at the state you’re in,” Tony chuckled. 

Peter let out a long breath before standing back up straight, and covering his mouth as he continued to giggle, slowly calming back down. “I don’t think I’ve ever laughed this hard in my life.”

“Clearly. You almost knocked yourself out walking through that door,” Tony pointed out and Peter snorted and nodded, his laughter threatening to return. “Calm down, now. You’re probably gonna hurt yourself.”

Peter took a deep breath and nodded. He then stepped closer to Tony and wrapped his arms around his neck, hugging him. “Thank you so much for today. For calming me down, and for taking me to dinner. I’ve actually had a nice day.’’ 

Tony smiled and wrapped his arms around Peter’s waist, holding him close. “You’re welcome, kid.”

»»————- ♡ ————-««

Later on in the evening, Tony was running his hands through Peter’s hair, the younger man snoring lightly and letting out even breaths. Peter was laid on the couch, facing the TV, head on Tony’s lap, one hand under his cheek and the other on Tony’s thigh. Tony took a slow sip from his glass, eyes on the TV, but not really paying any attention to it. All he could really focus on was how lucky he felt. How happy he was the Peter actually wanted to be with him, trusted him to hold and kiss him, trusted him enough to have that small bit of control over him during the day. 

A sudden bang on the TV made Peter flinch, Tony quickly put his glass down on the table next to him and rubbed a hand up and down Peter’s side and ran his fingers through his hair, shushing him, hoping that he hadn’t woken up. After a long day he definitely deserved to sleep, but Peter yawned and turned onto his front, arms crossing under his head and looked up at Tony with a soft smile. “I’m sorry, I should’ve turned it down,” Tony apologized.

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it. What time is it?” Peter replied quietly. 

Tony glanced at his watch, “A little after eight.”

“Is that it?” Peter asked, and Tony chuckled and nodded. “Why does it feel later than that?” 

“You’ve had a long day. You’ve been up since half five.”

They sat in silence, after that; just holding each other Tony’s eyes never leaving Peter, and watched as Peter brought up his own hand to link their fingers together. “I have a question?’’ Tony was just about to speak when he was cut off with; ‘’What are we?’’ Finally asking the question he’d been wanting to for a while.

‘’What do you want us to be?” Tony moved his hands to play with Peter’s hair once again, Peter looking back up from where he was snuggled against his chest, it was one of his favorite things about Peter.

“More than what we are,” Peter replied quietly and attempted to drop his head down again to look away from Tony; who brought his head back up so their eyes met.

“I want that too,” Tony admitted. “I didn’t want to say anything because… Well, I didn’t think you did.”

“I never thought that I’d want to be with someone. I thought it wasn’t worthy of that. I still believe I’m not worthy of that. But, you give me hope. You keep me safe, and wipe away my tears, and keep the nightmares away. You look after me. I’ve always wanted someone to take care of me,” Peter explained, and Tony was glad that he still continued to open up to him, glad that Peter still had that trust for him. 

“I, selfishly, want you to be mine so that no one else can have the chance to hurt you. I want to keep you safe, and protected, for as long as you allow me too. You’re beautiful, breathtakingly lovely and pure, and you deserve the world. You deserve love and respect, and someone to look after you. You’ve had a horrible time, a horrible start and I want to give you a good life. I want to spoil you and make you smile,” Tony finally admitted, eyes locked with Peter’s, 

Tony began rubbing the back of Peter’s hand with his thumb. “I’m not perfect, I’m not good, not really, and you could easily find someone more deserving of your time. I have my own issues and demons and shit I’m dealing with, but one thing I can promise you is that I’ll never hurt you, and I’ll do my best in making you happy.”

Peter sniffled and sighed, “You’ve got no idea how perfect you are. No idea at all.” 

Peter then leaned forward in Tony’s lap, pressing their lips together. Tony instantly wrapped his arms around Peter, holding him close to his chest as he returned the kiss. Peter hummed happily, hands moving into Tony’s hair. Tony then pulled away to pepper small kisses along Peter’s jawline and onto his neck, “Is this okay?”

Peter nodded. “It’s okay. It’s good,” He replied quietly and ducked his head down to meet Tony’s lips again, and Tony’s hand slid from around his waist to hold on to Peter’s hips. 

Peter offered a few soft, quick kisses before pulling away and sitting down on Tony’s lap properly, hands resting on his chest. “Are you okay? Was… Was that okay? I didn’t do too much, did I?” 

Peter laughed a little, “Of course it was okay.” Peter leaned down to cuddle against Tony’s chest, shuffling until Tony was basically cradling him in his arms. “I trust you. I know you’d stop if I said it was too much. It was perfect.” 

“I’m glad,” Tony commented, resting his head against Peter’s. 

»»————- ♡ ————-««

The next couple of days went past peacefully. Tony was spending more time with Tony at StarkTect, still refusing to admit that by now, he was stupidly head of heels for then man. Peter didn’t know how to tell him about his feelings, but a little plan popped up in his head that would help find out if Tony felt the same.

“What you working on?” 

“Well, StarkTech is pretty expensive. So, we’re trying to come up with an affordable range but, apparently I overdo things and I’m not really getting anywhere,” Tony explained, and Peter laughed. 

“Yeah. Overdo is an understatement,” Peter snorted 

“Can I come over and have a look? I might be able to help.”

“Sure,” Tony replied and pushed his chair back a little from the desk as Peter got up and made his way over. Peter then stood to the side of Tony and bent over a little to look at the designs, and glancing up at the tablet on Tony’s desk as he looked through. 

“You’re overdoing it. People don’t need the whole holographic thing, and extensive programming and the best camera you can possibly design. Teenagers are the ones who are gonna buy these affordable phones. They need a camera decent enough to take a selfie, a long-lasting battery, and one that’s not gonna smash into a thousand pieces if it accidentally gets dropped,” Peter explained, and without realizing sat back into Tony’s lap as he picked up the papers. “Look at Apple and Samsung. You want simplicity, not complexity. People want something easy to use, they don’t want to be spending weeks learning how to use something.”

Tony kept his hands gripping the arms of his chair, and nodding along to Peter’s advice. “You comfy?” Tony asked, voice a little strained. 

“Huh?” Peter asked and turned his head back to look at Tony, who shot his eyebrows up at the younger man. Peter then looked around and slowly a look of realization appeared on his face and he laughed a little. “Oh. D-Do you want me to move?”

Tony quickly shook his head, “Nope. No. You’re good.”

“Okay,” Peter replied, with a small shrug and a smile on his face and turned back to the design plans, grabbing a pencil and scribbling notes all over them. Tony was trying to look anywhere else than Peter who was now shuffling back on his lap to get comfier. Tony eventually slipped an arm around Peter’s waist, making sure the younger man was comfortable with it first, to which he got a small hum and a nod. 

»»————- ♡ ————-««

An hour slipped by easily, Peter alternating between scribbling notes and drawing design plans on Tony’s tablet, and Tony switching from simply holding him close and offering small rubs to his back and sometimes passing his fingers through Peter’s hair, to which Peter responded wonderfully too, pushing his head back to meet Tony’s touches and letting out little whines when Tony stopped. 

Peter sighed and finally set down the pencil he had been holding and leaned back against Tony. “You’re welcome,” Peter smirked. 

“For what?” Tony asked, both arms around his waist, pulling him flush against him. 

“Basically designing your first affordable phone,” Peter laughed a little. 

Tony hummed, before asking, “Can you turn yourself around?” 

“Y-Yeah. Sure,” Peter replied while standing up, and soon settling back down on Tony’s lap, the chair big enough for Peter’s legs to rest beside Tony’s thighs as he sat back down on his lap. 

“Drop your legs, get closer,” Tony instructed, and Peter did as he was told, and rested his head on Tony’s shoulder. Tony then wrapped both arms around Peter again, holding him close. Peter then tilted his head up and pressed a small kiss to Tony’s jawline. “What was that?” 

Peter shrugged. “A thank you, I guess. Just for everything. I know I keep saying it but, I feel like I’ll never thank you enough.”

“You’ve thanked me plenty, sweetheart,” Tony replied, leaning his head down a little to press a returning kiss to Peter’s forehead. Peter hummed happily, and brought his arms up to wrap around Tony’s neck, and hid his face between his arms and Tony’s shoulder. Tony tightened his arms in return and rested his head against Peter’s. 

A few moments passed, a comfortable silence, and Peter knew that he could easily stay in that moment forever, he had no plans to ever move from Tony’s lap. Tony then leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to Peter’s cheek and pushed a little for the younger man to lean back. Peter sat back a little and leaned his head back to smile at Tony. 

“Come on, I gotta get back to work,” Tony said reluctantly, not really wanting Peter to move either. 

Peter pouted and mumbled, “No.”

“What was that?” Tony asked, slightly amused. 

“I said no,” Peter repeated, his voice clearer this time, and tightened his arms around Tony’s neck, and hid his face once again. 

Tony chuckled and loosened his arms and offered light strokes to Peter’s back, ‘’Just let me get some work done and we’ll go home.”

“No,” Peter insisted. “I don’t wanna move. I’m staying here.” Peter then tilted his head back once again, and found Tony smirking at him, hands how holding his hips. Peter tried his best to keep his face straight, keep a serious look, but Tony cocked an eyebrow and Peter cracked a huge smile and let out a little laugh. Tony grinned in return and Peter just wanted to- Fuck it, he’s gonna do it. 

Peter then dropped his arms slowly, and brought his hand to Tony’s cheek and leaned in slowly, and realization formed in Tony’s eyes and he quickly brought up at hand to Peter’s chest, stopping him from moving further. Peter quickly sat back and dropped his head. “I-I’m so-“ 

“No. I just want to make sure that you’re sure that’s something you wanna do,” Tony said, and Peter whipped his head back up and nodded. 

“It is,” Peter reassured. “Can you kiss me, please?” 

Tony smiled, and moved his hand back to Peter’s hip and leaned forward and finally pressed his lips to the younger man, who instantly returned it, hands resting on Tony’s shoulders. Peter finally felt happiness, he was sure of it, right there at that moment. The smell of Tony’s cologne, the feel of expensive fabric under his fingers, strong hands holding his hips. He felt safe, protected and a feeling of hopefulness that maybe in the future he might even feel loved. 

Peter also realized that this was it, this was the one thing he actually had to offer someone. His first kiss, and Tony got it. He had something to give Tony, the first person, other than his aunt and uncle, to actually treat him like he mattered, like he was worth something. 

Peter allowed himself to get lost in the kiss, following Tony’s lead and learning from the older man, mimicking whatever he was doing, and earned an appreciative hum from Tony when Peter tangled his fingers in his hair. Tony then moved his hands from Peter’s hips, lips still connected and Peter showing all kinds of enthusiasm, and rested a hand on his back, pulling Peter closer and one hand holding the back of his neck, fingers hidden in his hair. 

Tony eventually pulled away, not really wanting too in the slightest, but considering this is Peter’s first kiss he didn’t want to put too much on the younger man all at once. Peter sat back with a little pout and quiet, disappointed whine. Tony rubbed his hand up and down Peter’s back and grinned at him. 

“You…” Tony started, a little breathless. “Are breathtakingly wonderful.”

»»————- ♡ ————-««

**Three Month Later**. 

  
Peter had finally gotten used to it all. The affection, the routine that Tony had set for them, and was finally allowing Tony to shower him with gifts and soft kisses whenever he wanted to. He now had a monthly allowance, which he used to treat his aunt as much as he could. Certain things he couldn’t buy anything too expensive had to be earned. But, small indulgences were more than okay, and he was surprised at how much he was actually enjoying being a sugar baby. After learning about everything Tony was into, Peter found himself enjoying certain aspects as well. Peter could finally say that he felt happy. Pure happiness.  
  
His aunt was due to be discharged from inpatient care within the next month if her health continued to progress well, a brand new apartment waiting for her in a nicer, safer area in Queens, and Peter had a permanent place in Tony’s bed. His aunt was more than supportive of Peter’s relationship with Tony. He obviously kept certain aspects to himself, but his aunt was happy for him. Even if she did give Tony the biggest ‘mama bear’ glare, and told him he wouldn’t have a single place on Earth to hide if Tony ever hurt Peter. Tony gave her his promise, a promise to always look after Peter, and keep him safe. A promise he’d kept perfectly.

Peter was sitting on the couch, book in hand and switching between reading and watching whatever was on the TV, and waiting for Tony to get home, he had some sort of surprise which kept Peter on his toes all day. Peter was just about to get up and grab the laptop when Tony entered the room. Peter quickly got up, pressed a soft kiss to Tony’s cheek before helping him out of his jacket. Peter then hung up the jacket and walked back over to Tony, who opened his arms for the younger man. Peter grinned and wrapped his arms around Tony tightly, Tony wrapping his arms around Peter in return. 

“Talk to me, baby. I’ve missed you,” Tony said into Peter’s hair.

“How has your day been?” Peter asked, genuinely interested in Tony’s day.  
  
“Boring as usual, but I was hoping that you could make the next three days a little less boring by accompanying me to a meeting or two in Vegas. Turns out someone who I was supposed to meet with today has ended up flying out and I had to make arrangements to have the meeting out there,” Tony explained and Peter stepped back a little, but kept his arms around Tony.  
  
“You promised no work, this weekend. You swore to me,” Peter reminded Tony and pouted a little. Just for effect. Peter had learned quickly that puppy eyes and a little pout always got to Tony. That’s how he ended up with a brand new Xbox without earning it the right way. 

“I know,” Tony sighed. “I know. I’m sorry. It’s gonna be two hours at the most, on one night of our trip. The rest of the time you have me all to yourself. I promise. I really do.” 

Tony smirked and stepped closer to the younger man, leaning down a little so he could talk lowly into Peter’s ear. “We can go shopping. Daddy’ll get you whatever you want. We’ll do those massage couple things at the spa, and take long walks-’’

‘’Okay!’’ Peter cracked, and threw his arms around Tony with a huge grin. Peter offered a soft kiss to Tony’s lips, which he was quickly pulled back in again. Tony broke the kiss to run a hand over Peter’s cheek, his finger following along his bottom lip. Peter then opened his mouth slightly and flicked his tongue against Tony’s finger. 

“Such a pretty boy,” Tony commented lowly, eyes fixated on Peter’s face. Peter’s eyes flicked closed and he tilted his head down a little to take the digit into his mouth, tongue swirling. Tony groaned at the sight and soon removed his finger and moved them back to the couch, Peter seated on his lap, kissing the younger man firmly, hands gripping his hips. 

The kiss heated up quickly, Peter nipping playfully at Tony’s bottom lip occasionally and hips beginning to rock down against Tony. Tony moaned into the kiss, hands now sliding to Peter’s ass, gripping a little. But, Tony noticed that second he did that, Peter began to shake in his arms and immediately pulled away from the kiss, sitting the younger man back fully on his lap, and searching his face for any sign of discomfort. 

“Baby, what’s wrong?”

“I don’t know. I just…” Peter trailed off, looking down. “Got scared, I guess. I don’t why. I feel fine. It’s not you. I don’t-“ 

“Calm down, baby. Breathe,” Tony said softly. “I think you’re just all worked up. Thinking too much. Let’s slow down.” 

Peter nodded and leaned forward, resting his head against Tony’s shoulder and allowed Tony to pull him closer, and hold him tightly. “I’m so proud of you. You did so well,” Tony whispered into Peter’s hair. “Such a beautiful boy. You’re so good for me.”

Peter let out a small sigh of relief, “You’re good to me too. I thought I was disappointing you.” 

“Never, baby,” Tony told him. “Never.”

»»————- ♡ ————-««  
  
The next day Peter held Tony’s hand tightly, fingers intertwined as they walked into the hotel. Instantly all eyes were on them and their joined hands. Women instantly sitting straighter and attempting to subtly fix their appearance and capture Tony’s attention. Peter couldn’t help but smile, because he knew they’d never get it. It took some time but, Peter had finally learned that Peter always had Tony’s full attention. A simple tug on his sleeve, puppy eyes or softly just saying ‘Daddy’ and Tony was all his. 

Peter leaned against Tony while waited at the desk to grab the key card to their hotel room. Tony pressed a kiss to the side of Peter’s head, and Peter leaned his head towards Tony, tilting his head up a little to smile at him. “You okay?”

Peter hummed and nodded. “M’fine,” Peter replied quietly. Tony chuckled lowly while pressing a kiss to the side of Peter’s head, arm securely around his waist, and soon had the hotel key card in his hand and was directing Peter in the direction of the elevator, linking their fingers together again.

“I booked the best room I could for us. You deserve the best,” Tony told the younger man as they stepped into the elevator. 

‘’Thank you,’’ Peter replied sweetly.

A few moments passed in comfortable silence, Peter resting his head against Tony’s arm, fingers clenched tightly around Tony’s hand, and Tony pressing soft kisses to Peter’s hair. The elevator doors opened directly to their suite for the weekend. Peter’s mouth dropped open a little as he walked forward into the room. Tony stayed near the elevator, watching Peter as he slowly walked through the lounge area of the suite. 

Peter glanced back at Tony, raising his eyebrows a little. Tony smiled, knowing the younger man was asking for permission to talk. Tony nodded and leaned against the wall a little. ‘’You booked the Penthouse? Are you serious?’’ Peter laughed out, looking at the room over. 

‘’Of course, I did,’’ Tony smirked. ‘’Have you seen the view?’’ Tony pointed towards the wall of windows, and Peter nodded. 

‘’You can’t miss it,’’ Peter laughed. The Penthouse was stunning, and Peter was a lucky boy indeed. ‘’Can I squeal? I feel the need to squeal,’’ Peter asked, and Tony nodded, amusement plastered all over his face. Peter then smiled brightly, and let out a long squeal, quickly moving back over to Tony and practically jumping into his arms. ‘’Thank you, thank you, thank you!’’ 

‘’You deserve the best,’’ Tony replied, holding the younger man tightly. Peter then lept out of his arms, half running towards the bathroom, disappearing inside. Tony smiled and shook his head at Peter’s excitement, he wanted to see that look in his eyes all the time. The look of happiness. He never wanted to see it fade. 

Tony had just sat down on the couch and laughed to himself when Peter called out from the bathroom, ‘’This is fucking insane! Have you seen this bathtub?’’

»»————- ♡ ————-««

After Peter had spent his time getting out all his excitement, they spent some time unpacking their bags together, and Peter asking questions about what the week in Vegas would entail and begging for chocolate covered strawberries. Tony eventually gave in, despite his plans to take the younger man out to eat. Peter was insistent on wanting to just lay in bed and chill out as they’d just arrived. 

An hour passed by quickly, and Tony kept glancing over at the younger man throughout that hour, always finding him the same way. Head down looking at his phone, occasionally picking up a chocolate-covered strawberry, and completely silent despite the given permission to talk.

“What’s going on with you? You’ve been silent for ages. I told you you could talk, baby,” Tony said, setting his tablet down onto the table and standing up.

Peter glanced up and locked his phone, dropping it onto the bed. “I’m worried,” Peter admitted, sighing after he spoke and dropping the strawberry back onto the plate. ‘’Been worrying for a while.’’  
  
“About what, baby?” Tony asked softly, sitting down on the bed next to him.

“Our first time together…” Peter said shyly, looking anywhere but at Tony.

“Why?” Tony tried his hardest to make eye contact with the younger man, but Peter kept dodging it the second their eyes connected. “Is this about yesterday? Baby, we’ll get there. There’s no rush.”

“It’s not that,” Peter replied. “It’s so awkward an-and embarrassing-“

“Peter. Baby. Just tell me,” Tony coaxed. “The few occasions where I’ve… You know, by myself… I’ve never… I’ve never been able to finish,” Peter finally said, biting his lip and playing with his hands, fingers linking and unlinking again.  
  
“And you’re worried that when it comes to us being together for the first time you won’t be able to,” Tony replied, thinking for a moment. “Don’t stress over it. When it comes to that time… We’ll figure something out.”

“W-What if… I wanted to try… Like, tonight…” Peter said slowly, and as carefully as he could, and slowly looked up at Tony, finally meeting his gaze.  
  
Tony took in a deep breath and looked around the room, before looking back at Peter. “That’s your decision. Don’t be doing it for the sake of just doing it, and getting it out of the way. I want you to be comfortable, and calm. I want you to enjoy it. First times suck, they really do.”

“Not my first time,” Peter mumbled, dropping his head down to look at his hands.

“Hey, look at me,” Tony instructed, hand reaching out to cover Peter’s, who slowly looked back up with tears in his eyes. “That doesn’t count. It will never count. Your first time will be your choice. Your comfortability. Your decisions and only, and I mean only, when you give explicit consent. Nothing else counts.”

Peter sniffled and nodded slowly, “I want you to be my first. Not tonight. But, I wanna try something. Anything.”

“Absolutely, if that’s what you want,” Tony replied.

‘’It is,’’ Peter confirmed. ‘’What’s the plan for the day? It’s still pretty early. We could go out, look around. All that touristy stuff.’’

‘’If that’s what you wanna do. My meeting is at ten, so that gives us a few hours. You wanna go shopping?’’ Tony asked, trying to come up with a plan on where to go, what to do.

‘’Shopping sounds good. I really need a new phone,’’ Peter said and smiled at Tony.

‘’Why haven’t you mentioned that before? I’ve asked you multiple times and you’ve said over and over each time that you’re happy with what you’ve got,’’ Tony laughed a little.

‘’It was fine! I was happy with it,’’ Peter started, and then looked down, grabbing his phone and picking it up, presenting it to Tony, and revealing the slightly cracked screen. ‘’I dropped it before we got on the plane. It still works. It’s just annoying.’’

Tony took the phone from Peter and chuckled. ‘’Come on, let’s go and get you a new phone.’’

»»————- ♡ ————-««

After a couple hours of shopping, they headed back to the hotel room to get ready for Tony’s meeting. Peter spent most of his time going through all the new shopping bags with Tony telling him time and time again that he needed to shower and get ready. Tony then appeared in the doorway and helped Peter off the floor, pushing him towards the shower.

Once he was done, Peter stepped out into the bedroom, finding Tony dressed already, hair almost dry from the shower, and checking his tie in the mirror. Peter smiled as Tony caught him in the reflection, offering his own smile. “You should stay like that. All the time,” Tony told Peter, turning around and looking the younger man up and down slowly. 

“Like what? Slightly damp and practically naked?” Peter smirked and Tony chuckled. 

“Absolutely,” Tony confirmed, walking over to him.

Once Tony was close enough, he slipped a hand under the fabric of Peter’s robe, hand rubbing at Peter’s waist. Peter let out a shaky breath and looked up at Tony. Eyes full of anticipation and adoration. Tony then used his other hand to slowly pulled at the tie, letting the long fabric fall either side of Peter, and Peter then shrugged off the robe, letting it fall to the floor, and took in a deep breath due to now being totally naked in front of Tony. Peter watched as a smile spread across Tony’s face, the older man looking him over, drinking him in. Tony stepped closer slowly, hands now running up Peter’s back, pulling him closer. 

“Perfect,” Tony commented quietly before leaning his head down a little to capture Peter’s lips with his own. Peter sighed happily, his hands running up Tony’s arms before wrapping his arms around his neck. Tony kept the kiss sweet and almost innocent before biting softly at Peter’s bottom lip as he pulled away, beginning to trail kisses down his jaw and onto his neck. Peter tilted his head to the side, giving Tony full access to his neck, relaxing his arms a little and sliding a hand into Tony’s hair. “Is this okay?” Tony whispered against Peter’s neck. “Are you okay?” 

Peter nodded a little, “I’m okay. It’s good. I’m good. Really good.” 

Tony chuckled a little, beginning to trail the kisses lower, across Peter’s shoulders and collarbone. Tony then lowered himself to his knees in front of the younger man. Peter then dropped his head suddenly before lifting it back up and looking around the room, fingers twitching against his sides. “What’s going on, baby?”

“Embarrassed.” 

“Do you want me to get up? You know you can tell me to go away, baby. I won’t be upset,” Tony said, looking up at Peter, who brought a hand up to his mouth, biting at his fingers before dropping it again, shaking his hands and letting out a long breath. 

“N-No. I’m okay. You can carry on,” Peter replied, nodding to himself. “I’m good.”

“Yes you are, sweetheart,” Tony commented, rubbing a hand up Peter’s thigh. “Such a good boy,” Tony smirked as Peter whined a little, cock twitching at the praise. Tony hummed appreciatively while purposely trailing his fingers up and down Peter’s thighs, across his stomach and everywhere else but his hardening cock. 

“Please,” Peter whispered sweetly. 

“Please what, baby?” Tony asked, smirking up at the younger man. “Tell daddy what you want.” Tony continued to trail his fingers lightly around Peter’s body. Peter let out a little sigh, a deep blush spreading down onto his chest, as he brought up his hands to hide his face. Tony tutted and reached up, bringing Peter’s hands down from his face. “Don’t hide from me, baby. Let daddy see you.”

“I want you to touch me, daddy,” Peter said quietly, looking down at Tony with innocent eyes and biting at his lower lip. 

“Yeah?” Tony replied, teasing Peter further. “Where, sweetheart? What do you want daddy to touch?” 

Peter let another whine slip. “Daddy,” Peter said, dragging the word out, and letting out a deep sigh. “Please touch my cock.”

“Good boy,” Tony praised, and finally wrapped his hand around Peter’s, now fully hard, cock, giving a few light strokes, earning a long moan from Peter. Tony looked up, finding Peter with his eyes closed and lips slightly parted. Gorgeous. Innocent. Beautiful. 

“How’re you doing?” Tony asked, and Peter opened his eyes and looked down, meeting Tony’s gaze. 

“Really good,” Peter replied, a little breathless and Tony grinned. 

Tony leaned his head down a little and licked a long, slow stripe up Peter’s cock before taking the tip into his mouth. 

“Oh, fuck,” Peter moaned, a hand coming down to wind into Tony’s hair. Tony hummed and began sucking slowly and carefully, taking more of Peter’s cock with each suck, fingers now slightly pulling at his hair. 

Tony continued to work his mouth around Peter’s cock, pulling off occasionally to give a few strokes and focus on lapping at the head, Peter’s legs threatening to give out a few times, and fingers in his hair, and one hand gripping at his shoulder. Peter’s breathing got heavier, slight pants and long, desperate moans, clearly close to his orgasm. ‘’You close, baby?’’ Tony asked, voice low, before swallowing Peter once again, sucking harder.

‘’Y-Yes,’’ Peter moaned out, thrusting his hips forward slightly to meet Tony’s mouth. Tony then took Peter’s cock all the way down, nose hitting the younger man’s pubic bone, and Peter whined and gripped at his shoulders. “Daddy, I’m gonna-“ 

Tony moaned around Peter’s cock and Peter’s head dropped forward, lips parted and shuddering a little as he came. Tony rubbed the back of his legs, pulling off slowly and offered a few small licks before sitting back on his legs, hand coming up to offer a few small strokes, working Peter through the aftermath of his orgasm. 

Peter whined and pushed Tony’s hand away, “Sensitive.”

Tony chuckled and stood up, groaning as he did. “Getting too old for that shit,” Tony commented before pulling the younger man close to him, holding him securely against his chest and peppering kisses in his hair. 

“You’re not old,” Peter told Tony, arms wrapping around his waist, head resting against his waist. 

Tony hummed and leaned his head down to press a kiss to Peter’s shoulder. “I thought you couldn’t finish,” Tony teased, and Peter groaned in embarrassment and dropped one arm from around Tony to cover his face. Then Tony gave him a tap on leg, as he stood up, a silent instruction to get ready for a meeting knew he was already going to be a shitshow. 

And, oh, boy… A shitshow was an understatement. 

“Three,” Tony stated simply once they got back to their hotel room. “Three times you spoke tonight. Three times you were rude and insulting. Three times you could have blown that deal for me.” Peter just shrugged while taking off his jacket, basically ignored Tony’s words. “No, you reply to me. You answer me. I wanna know why you thought that was okay,” Tony demanded.

“God, Tony, enough,” Peter replied. “I said all I had to say. You know why I said it. I told you the second we saw him that he can’t be trusted.”  
  
“God, you’re a brat,” Tony commented, walking past the younger man and sitting down on a chair near the windows of the hotel room. “If Pepper tells me that I have to make nice with this person then I have to do it! She believes he’s valuable. I- You’re so-’’ Tony waved Peter off, while pulling his tie off, too angry to talk. ‘’This is nothing to do with you.”

“I’m looking out for you!” Peter insisted, and sat himself down on the bed, before adding, “Jesus Christ.”  
  
“I can look after myself, Peter,” Tony said, rubbing a hand down his face. “I’m the one who’s supposed to be looking after you.”

“And you are,” Peter agreed. “But, that doesn’t mean I can’t look out for you in return.”

“Pepper isn’t stupid, she knows this guy is the real deal… You don’t need to worry, baby. I know what I’m doing,” Tony explained, walking to sit down next to Peter on the bed.

»»————- ♡ ————-««

Tony allowed the tension to die down from the almost argument, Peter ending up cuddled up by his side on the bed, and Tony running his hands through the younger man’s hair. Peter hummed appreciatively, leaning into Tony’s touch. Tony then began to trace his fingertips down the back of Peter’s neck, bringing them round slowly to his jawline, and stroking his thumb softly across his bottom lip.

“Such a pretty boy,” Tony commented quietly, fingertips now traveling down the younger man’s neck, and Peter let out a shaky breath. “You okay?” 

“Totally fine,” Peter reassured. 

‘’Do you want a bath?’’ Tony asked quietly.

‘’Yes, please,’’ Peter answered sweetly and Tony grinned.

‘’Come on then,’’ Tony said, getting off the bed, and pulling Peter up. Tony then guided Peter to the bathroom, Peter holding his hand tightly. Tony walked by Peter once they reached the doorway to begin filling up the tub. Tony then walked back over to Peter, who had made his way to the middle of the bathroom, and stood behind him, and leaned down to press a soft kiss to his neck. Peter then turned around in Tony’s arms and smiled up at him. Tony looked at Peter’s up and down slowly, before resting his hands at the top of his dress shirt. 

‘’Can I undress you?’’ Tony asked, and Peter nodded. Tony smiled and began unbuttoning Peter’s shirt, pressing kisses to his cheek, his jawline and neck with each button undone. Tony pushed the shirt off Peter’s shoulders, and let it fall to the floor. Tony then began to trace Peter’s chest with his fingers, moving down to his stomach and tracing the muscles there. 

‘’You’re so perfect,’’ Tony told him quietly.

Peter brought his hands up and ran them over Tony’s chest, his smile stuck on his face. ‘’So are you.’’&#157;

Tony turned off the running water, the tub filled plenty for the both of them. Peter slowly took off the rest of his clothes, a blush already spreading across his cheeks and down his neck. Peter carefully stepped into the tub, the hot water relaxing him almost instantly. Tony quickly rid himself of his clothes and motioned for Peter to move down in the tub so Tony could sit behind him. Tony then climbed in behind and sat down, then reached his arms out and pulled Peter to lay against his chest, Tony’s legs either side of him.

Peter laid quietly there for a few moments, just listening to the music, and closing his eyes as Tony’s fingers rubbed gently over his stomach, honestly wanting to stay there forever, leaned up close to him, and be his always. Tony brought up a wet hand up to push through Peter’s hair, making Peter smile, and Peter brought up his own hand to intertwine with the hand that was tracing patterns on his stomach. Peter felt Tony kiss the top of his head and Peter then turned his head up to look back at Tony, who smiled back at him. Peter turned his head a bit more to press a small kiss to his lips before turning his back around and settling back to how he was before.

Tony ran his other hand up and down Peter’s arm before intertwining his fingers with Peter’s other hand, wrapping his arms around him, keeping their hands held together, and hugging him close. Peter closed his eyes and allowed himself to relax against Tony. Peter felt like he could easily stay in that moment forever, that he could stay close to Tony and feel safe because he knew now that Tony would protect him at any cost. 

Peter felt happy because he’s finally with a man he’s been dreaming about for what felt like a lifetime. A man that wanted him, a man that didn’t want to hurt him, or see him cry, and Peter felt… Loved, so loved. Peter heard Tony sigh happily and Tony then rested his cheek on top of Peter’s head. Tony then squeezed him lightly.

Peter turned his head and looked up at Tony, and Tony leaned down and kissed him softly, hand coming up to rest against Peter’s cheek. Peter then broke the kiss and untangled their arms and hands, and shuffled forward carefully in the tub. Peter then stood up and turning around, and pushed Tony’s legs together before settling down on top of him, legs either side and leaned forward, kissing him again. 

Tony’s hands ended up on Peter’s hips, holding him steady while he kissed him back. Tony made sure to keep the kiss slow, and innocent, not wanting to make Peter uncomfortable, but that all changed when Peter swiped his tongue along Tony’s bottom lip. Tony hummed a little before opening his mouth and allowed Peter to slowly push his tongue into his mouth, experimenting and finding what felt right. Peter moaned a little when he finally got the hang of it, his hands going to the back of Tony’s head and his hands sliding into his hair.

Tony kept the kiss slow still, trying to keep the kiss innocent. It failed miserably, not that Tony minded at all, thanks to Peter letting out little moans, and showing that wonderfully enthusiasm that he showed with any task. The kiss ended up feeling filthy. Tony’s hand moved to run up and down Peter’s back, and Tony then slowly let his hands slide down to run over Peter’s ass momentarily and back up to his back. 

Peter rocked his hips slowly in the water, his cock rubbing against Tony’s and Tony groaned into the kiss, his hands gripping his back, his fingers digging in hard, making Peter moan softly. Peter then took one of his hands off the back of Tony’s head and brought it down between them, his hand dipping into the water and his hand wrapping around Tony’s cock gently, and carefully, making Tony groan into the kiss, before breaking it and letting his head falling back.

Peter moved his hand slowly, listening to how Tony moaned softly. Tony then sat up a little, his arms wrapping around Peter and leaned forward to places kisses to Peter’s neck, before biting down softly and sucking and licking at the skin. Peter moaned and started to move his hand a little faster, making Tony bite down harder and one of Tony’s hand comes up to the back of Peter’s neck, holding him close, as he started to suck on Peter’s neck hard, nipping as he does, and Peter knows for sure there’s going to be bruises there, and sort of hopes that his healing factor is still down so the bruises can last longer than a day.

Tony’s then moving his head to lick a stripe up Peter’s neck slowly, until he reaches his jawline, then peppering kisses from one side of his face to the other, then kissing back down and locking his teeth into the other side of Peter’s neck. 

‘’Take me to bed,’’ Peter moaned out sweetly and Tony unlatches from his neck. Peter let go of Tony’s cock after offering one last slow pump, thumb rubbing over the head. Tony groaned as Peter stood up, getting up out of the tub, and Tony followed him, getting out of the tub himself, Peter waiting patiently for him. Tony grabbed a towel and quickly dried Peter and then dried himself and took Peter’s hand and lead him out of the bathroom, the music following them through the Penthouse and into the bedroom.

Once they reached the bedroom, Peter threw his arms around Tony’s shoulders, pulling him close and reconnecting their lips. Tony reached down, arms clasping at the back of Peter’s thighs. Peter took the hint and jumped up a little, wrapping his legs around Tony’s waist, Tony holding his thighs securely, and carrying him towards the bed. Tony settled Peter down on the bed before climbing onto it himself, sitting back against the pillows. “You doing okay? Do you want to slow down?” Tony asked, and Peter shook his head. 

“I’m fine, I promise,” Peter reassured. Tony then nodded in reply and patted his lap, and Peter crawled over and straddled Tony’s lap, his arms wrapping around his neck again. Tony pressed his lips softly against Peter’s and wrapped his arms around Peter’s lower back, holding him close, always wanting him close. Peter hummed happily and kissed him back, rocking his hips against Tony, making him moan against his lips. Peter then broke the kiss and sliding down Tony a little, looking up at the older man. “I’ve never- But, I want to-“

“You do what you wanna do, baby. This about you,” Tony replied and Peter nodded slowly, a small smile on his lips. Peter was soon laid between Tony’s open legs, head resting on his thigh. Peter let out a shaky breath, releasing his nerves, before wrapping his hand around the length, moving his hand slowly, eyes locked on Tony’s and all Tony could do was moan, he closed his eyes, focusing on the soft touches he was getting from Peter, his head falling back against the headboard of the bed. 

Peter carried on for a few moments until Tony could feel a warm tongue licking slowly and softly at the tip, and Tony’s hand reached down to Peter’s head, his fingers tangling in his hair. Tony brought his head back up, and opened his eyes, looking down at Peter, watching as he kept placing small licks all over his cock, and Tony was sure he was starting to go out of his mind.

Peter glanced up as if looking for reassurance. ‘’You’re doing good, sweetheart. Really good,’’ Tony promised. Peter smiled and opened his mouth to take the head of Tony’s cock into his mouth, lips closing around softly and tongue massaging gently. ‘’Doing really good,’’ Tony moaned out quietly, and Peter hummed in reply before taking Tony as far as he could into his mouth, his tongue moving around his cock and Tony gripped his hair hard, and quickly pulled his hand back, ‘’I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. That was too ha-’’

Peter pulled off, hand coming up to stroke Tony gently. ‘’It’s fine, I’m okay. You can pull my hair a little, I’m not gonna break,’’ Peter told Tony, calming his thoughts. ‘’ I’d tell you if I didn’t like it, okay?’’

Tony nodded, letting out a deep breath. Tony brought a hand back down to stroke Peter’s cheek before the younger man took Tony into his mouth again. Tony soon realized that Peter learned quickly, figured out how to set a good pace, how to move his tongue, how to move his hand in time with each such and swipe of his tongue. 

Tony allowed Peter to keep sucking him at his own pace, before finally daring to use the hand gripped in Peter’s hair and guiding his mouth up and down his cock. Tony made sure to only move his hand slightly, keeping the pressure and pull light, still allowing Peter to fully be in control. After a few moments, Tony began to slowly push him all the way down onto his cock and Peter almost reached the base before he was coughing and gagging around his cock. Tony pulled Peter off his cock after a small while and fully sat up, connecting their lips again. Tony kissed Peter hard, and filthy, the younger man moaned into the kiss, sitting upon his knees, hands in Tony’s hair. 

Tony ran his own Peter’s body as the younger man placed small licks against his tongue. Tony groaned long and deep, and pulled Peter flush against him, before breaking the kiss and beginning to press kisses down Peter’s neck, eventually biting into the soft skin gently. Peter let out a little laugh, nerves beginning to bubble up inside his chest as Tony’s hands roamed over his body. Peter kept trying to push the nerves away, telling himself that it was just Tony, that he wouldn’t hurt him. Tony felt Peter beginning to shake in his arms, and quickly pulled himself away. ‘’Baby, what’s wrong?’’

‘’I-I don’t know. I think I’m just getting myself a little worked up. I’ll…’’ Peter trailed off as he let out a shaky breath. ‘’I’ll be fine.’’

‘’We can stop. I’m probably being too much. We’ll sto-’’

‘’No, I’m okay. I swear,’’ Peter promised. ‘’I wanna carry on.’’

‘’You’re sure?’’ Tony asked, and Peter nodded. ‘’You promise to tell me to stop if it gets too much?’’

‘’I promise, Tony,’’ 

Tony kissed Peter softly. ‘’Alright, baby,’’ Tony said, rubbing his hands up and down Peter’s arms. ‘’Move up to the top, and lay on your back, baby.’’ Peter smiles and shuffled up to the top of the bed and turns over. Tony climbed up the bed and grabbed a pillow. ‘’Lift your hips up for me, sweetheart.’’

Peter raised his hips so Tony could place the pillow under him, raising his hips a little. “How you doing, baby?”

“I’m okay now. I promise,” Peter replied, grinning at Tony.

Tony moved to hover over Peter, hands either side of Peter’s head as he leaned down, and placed a series of small kisses to his neck, making Peter moan a little. Tony started kissing softly down his chest, and dropped himself down onto his arms, before sitting up and running down Peter’s sides. Tony placed two long kisses to the inside of Peter’s thighs as he laid himself down between the younger man’s legs, loving how Peter whined in anticipation. 

Tony’s rubbed his hands over Peter’s thighs, before running them down under his knees and slowly bringing them up, keeping his eyes on Peter, looking for any sign of discomfort or fear, but the younger man showed none. Peter let out a long breath and nodded for Tony to continue. “You’re doing so well, baby,” Tony complimented, offering Peter a smile. 

“Thank you, daddy,” Peter replied sweetly and Tony groaned, he’ll never be used to Peter calling him that, will never be used to the moans and the soft edge to his voice when he’s all worked up. Tony truly felt like the luckiest man on the planet. “Stop thinking,” Peter whined. 

Tony chuckled before leaning down and pressing a wet kiss to Peter’s hole, and Peter moaned long and loud, and hid his face by throwing an arm over his face. Tony smirked and started to place small licks against Peter and loving the small gasps and quiet moans coming from Peter. He licked harder, pushing his tongue into Peter’s hole. Peter gripped the bed-sheets, and pushed his hips up, attempting to get Tony’s tongue deeper into him. 

Tony chuckled lowly against him, and pulled Peter’s legs together, holding them both together as he pulled away to rub his thumb over Peter’s hole, and then slowly pushed down, watching as the tip of his thumb entered Peter. Tony was worried that the younger man would freak out again, that it all would be too much, but Peter instantly dissolved that thought by letting out a little whine. 

‘’Tony… Daddy, please.’’ Peter moaned brokenly, pushing his hips up again. “I-I want to. I swear I want to.”

Tony glanced up at Peter, who had his eyes shut, arm now dropped back down by his side and lips slightly parted. Tony leaned his head up a little, letting Peter’s legs fall either side of him. ‘’Okay, baby, are you sure?”

Peter nodded enthusiastically, ‘’Yes, I’m sure.’’

‘’Okay, lemme just grab- Shit.’’ Tony sighed, dropping his head down onto the bed between Peter’s thighs before shuffling to sit back on his legs. ‘’We can’t.’’

Peter looked down at Tony, pushing himself up a little. ‘’Wh-What? Why? Is it me? Have I done-’’

‘’Baby, no, it’s not you,’’ Tony said quickly, cutting the younger man off. ‘’I don’t have anything with me. You know, lube, condoms, all that stuff.’’

‘’So?’’ Peter asked, shrugging his shoulders a little.

‘’Are you serious?’’ Tony laughed a little. 

‘’I’ll heal. We can work around that right?’’ 

‘’Oh my God, you’re serious,’’ Tony replied quietly. ‘’Peter, no. We can’t work around it. This needs to be done properly, okay? I could really hurt you-’’

Peter then chuckled, cutting Tony off, who in return looked at him in confusion. ‘’This is a hotel, right?’’ Peter snorted as Tony nodded his head slowly. ‘’What hotel doesn’t have lube and condoms hidden somewhere?’’ 

Tony then lunged forward and pressed a firm kiss to Peter’s lips. ‘’Stay there, I’ll search,’’ Tony instructed and Peter gave him a soft ‘’okay’’, smiling as the man looked through the hotel, coming out of the bathroom, packets of lube and a condom in hand. Peter grinned, laying himself back down as Tony made his way back to the bed, climbing on and laying himself down on top of Peter, his legs either side; pressing as many kisses as he could to his face and shoulders before asking if it was okay one last time. A soft kiss and yes hanging on his lips was more than enough. 

They took their time that night, gentle touches, constant reassurance. Tony held onto ever whimper, gasp and soft moan that fell from Peter’s lips. Wiping his tears when he was thanking Tony over and over again. Reminding Peter is was more than okay when he was gripping onto his back, nails digging in; leaving marks Tony never wanted to go away, marks that Peter made with all the trust he had, showing all the trust he had for Tony. The way he clung to Tony’s shoulders, allowing Tony to show him what pleasure felt like. 

Tony loved it best when just laid back, allowing Tony to see all of him; so he could run his hands all over his soft, milky skin, covered in freckles. He loved his swollen, pink, spit slick lips when he tried to bite them to hide the moans following, he loved simply pulling his lip down slowly before swallowing those sounds while he thrust slow and deep into the angel he had laid before him. Watching Peter come was a show Tony should have never been allowed to see, his mouth in a perfect ‘o’ shape, and a low breathy moan that made Tony follow suit. 

They laid there for a moment, lazily exchanging kisses before Tony got them cleaned up and crawled back up the bed before he laid back against the pillows, stretching an arm out to allow Peter to cuddle against him. Peter shuffled over to Tony before he laid against him, on his side, legs slotted together and head resting on Tony’s arm. Peter had one of his arms stretched across his chest, the other tucked between then, fingers rubbing at Tony’s shoulder.

They both laid in silence, comfortable and content. Tony leaned down to pull the covers over them both, Peter whining at being moved. Tony chuckled and soon settled back to how they were before, hugging the soft sheets around Peter, and holding him close. ‘’You’ve done so well tonight,’’ Tony commented, pressing a kiss to Peter’s forehead. ‘’I’m so proud of you.’’

Peter leaned up to press a sweet kiss to Tony’s lips. ‘’Thank you for being my first.’’

‘’Thank you for allowing me to be,’’ Tony replied.

‘’I keep thinking about how much I like being with you,’’ Peter said, and looked up at Tony who grinned down at him.

‘’I like being with you too,’’ Tony replied, pressing another kiss to Peter’s forehead, bringing up his hand to push through Peter’s hair. Peter leaned into the touch and smiled slightly.

‘’I like talking to you. I also think about how good you look when you smile; how much I enjoy your laugh. I daydream about you every moment we’re not together, replaying our conversations. I laugh at those funny things you’ve done or said, and it makes me feel so much better,’’ Peter told Tony, intertwining their fingers as he spoke. ‘’You’ve become so important to me. You care about me, and I can’t thank you enough for that. I do wonder what will happen in the future with us.’’

Tony pressed another kiss to Peter’s forehead, and whispered, 

‘’I know one thing for sure… you’re the best thing that’s happened to me.’’

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback helps. If you're just here to say and complain ''I've read this before, blah blah blah'' then just don't? That doesn't help me here. Please leave your thoughts!
> 
> [come find me on tumblr!](%E2%80%9Cthaliastxrk.tumblr.com%E2%80%9D)  
[come find me on youtube, I make starker & peter ship fanvids](%E2%80%9Cwww.youtube.com/user/BabesEmo%E2%80%9D)


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